Help Me Lose My Mind
by InvisibleEvidence
Summary: Sara and Catherine crash in the desert and what unfolds changes their relationship forever. Set around the end of season three, from Sara's POV.
1. Chapter 1

I pulled my leather jacket on over my black skinny fit t-shirt, glancing at my reflection in my locker door mirror before locking the metal door and turning around the face the blonde behind me. "Are you ready?"

Catherine slid a layer of lipstick across her lips and nodded. "Sure thing."

I picked the evidence collection kit up from the long bench that separated the locker room into two halves and followed her out of the room and down the winding corridors of the building. There was a quiet hurried bustle to the building, people passing from room to room, papers and evidence bags in hand. We exited the building and my eyes fell to Catherine's hips as they lightly swayed from side to side, her heeled boots clacking against the tarmac of the parking lot. The effort she made on a daily basis always astounded me, or maybe it was natural style, I couldn't tell. I just knew in her eyes I must look like I've just rolled out of bed, when in fact when Grissom had told me yesterday that I would be spending this shift working with Catherine, I had spent an extra 20 minutes on my hair and gone through my entire wardrobe to find something that she may deem 'cute'. The more I thought about my denim jeans, work boots and black t-shirt combo, the more I doubted that I did in fact look 'cute'.

I placed the evidence kit into the trunk of Catherine's black Denali before climbing into the passenger seat. Her car smelled of her perfume, it reminded me of cinnamon and almonds. I buckled my seatbelt and she started the engine before tapping the destination of the crime scene into the sat-nav - Spring Valley State Park was a couple of hours' drive but it had only just hit midnight so I figured we would still be there with enough time to process the scene, return to the lab and start processing evidence before our official end of shift. I couldn't remember the last time I had actually left the lab when I was meant to, my body was used to 16+ hour shifts now.

Although Grissom had told me in advance I would be spending the shift with Catherine, the murder scene in Spring Valley had only just been called in as we had arrived at the lab. I hadn't expected to be spending such a long amount of time with Catherine is such a small space as a car, it made me a little nervous. It would be fairly accurate to say that Catherine and I hadn't previously gotten on with each other very well, we had had countless arguments about the most mundane things, and occasionally we did still have moments where tension would rise but we had been much better lately. I had no idea what had changed to make things easier between us but I was grateful for it. I tapped nervously on my knees as we drove through the dark Vegas streets, trying to think of something I could say to Catherine that didn't make me sound stupid.

"How are things since Hank?"

I raised my eyebrows. That was direct. "Quiet." I replied. I didn't know what else to say, how much detail did she want? I could still feel his hands on my bare skin, and I could still him with his actual girlfriend. His real girlfriend. With his hands on her too. It had only been two weeks since the horrible truth had come out... well, all of it was horrible, in retrospect.

"I know that feeling." Catherine kept her eyes on the road but her voice was sympathetic and sincere.

Silence filled the car again as I struggled to find anything to say that wouldn't make things awkward. Catherine wasn't really interested in how I felt about Hank, or anyone else for that matter, so that conversation was a dead end. "How's Lindsey?" I finally asked.

"She's doing well, I think she's made some new friends at school, she keeps talking about these girls anyway… they're part of her dance group."

We were out of the city now and onto the long dark roads of Nevada. It was quite easy to feel like we were the only people in the world at that moment.

"I'm glad."

"Do you think you'll ever have children?"

Another probing question - I felt myself squirm a little. If we had been in the lab I would have made an excuse and left, but I couldn't exactly jump from the car. "I don't think that would be a good idea." I replied. It was the truth, I was the result of two violent people who had somehow produced a child. I wouldn't dare create a life that may inherit their genes.

"I think you'd make a good mom." Catherine took her eyes from the road for a second to smile at me.

I smiled back, thankful for Catherine's kind words, but her question just reinforced the fact she barely knew anything about me. They would be memories I would take to the grave, but maybe only for the fear that if I spoke them I would uncover the feelings I had suppressed since I was a child. In an attempt to distract myself from my thoughts I pulled my phone from my jeans pocket and composed a text to Warwick to see what case he and Nick had been given that night, only to find that we were so far out of Vegas that my phone has stopped receiving any reception. "No signal." I groaned.

"I'm sure you can live without the boys for a night." Catherine responded with a little laugh. "I'm not that bad, am I?"

"No." I felt my cheeks blush. I couldn't think of anyone better to spend my shift with and always looked forward to spending time with Catherine, even if it was just a 10 minute coffee break, not that I would ever let her know what. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction to let her know that I had developed a crush on her over the last 12 months, and endless thoughts of her ran through my brain. I also wouldn't take the pity of her letting me down and informing me that she was in fact straight and very much not interested.

"Good." Catherine flicked on the radio and we settled into a comfortable silence.

* * *

I awoke to the sound of the tyres screeching across the road, Catherine turning the wheel fiercely to try and regain control of the car as it span across the road. I felt my fingers tightly grip onto the side of the seat as I tried to see through the darkness ahead of us what was actually happening to the car. Suddenly the front of the car impacted with a rock and the windscreen cracked loudly, the force of the crash jolting us both forward in our seats. My seat belt pulled me back tightly, knocking the air from my lungs. My head span as I tried to full my chest with air, unbuckling my seatbelt to check on Catherine. "Cath, are you okay?" I leant across to unbuckle her seatbelt and moved her blonde hair from her face to see if she was injured. Blood poured from a small gash in her forehead. She must have hit her head on the steering wheel.

"I'm okay." she whispered, still catching her breath too.

I took her hand and noticed how much we were both shaking. "What happened?"

"There was a deer on the road, I tried to get around it and the car just…" Catherine groaned as she shifted in her seat.

I kept hold of Catherine's hand with one hand and took the sat-nav in my other hand. "We're in the middle of nowhere."

"We need to call the lab and get someone to pick us up."

I pulled my phone from my pocket, "No signal… Stay there." I climbed out of the car, noting how shaky my knees were as I walked around to the front of the car. It was completely smashed, it looked like the rock had impacted most of the engine. "Great…" I made my way to the trunk and pulled out a flashlight and the first aid kit. I surveyed the surrounding area with the flashlight - we really were in the middle of nowhere. The road disappeared into the darkness in either direction, and both sides of the road lay steep rocks.

I got back into the car and opened the first aid kit on my knees, finding out a plaster for Catherine's injury. I peeled the tape from the back of the plaster and, moving her hair away from the wound, applied the plaster. "It will have to do until we can get you checked out."

"I don't need a doctor, Sara."

"Yes, you do." I sealed up the first aid kit and placed it on the backseat of the car. "We can't stay here."

"We can. Someone will be along soon."

"Catherine it's the middle of the night. We don't have a choice. It's too dangerous to stay in the car in case someone comes along and crashes into us and it's freezing cold, we can't stay warm enough sat here." I didn't really know what I was saying: CSI training didn't cover getting stuck in the desert but I knew I needed to get Catherine to safety. "The sat-nav says we're 40 miles away from Spring Valley National park. There must be a motel or something on the way there."

"I don't have much option other than to trust you, do I?" For the first time that night Catherine's stubbornness showed itself.

"No." I wasn't confident in my decision, but I needed Catherine to feel like I was.

I helped Catherine out of the car and pulled a blanket from the trunk to wrap around her. I tucked my handgun into the back of my jeans and put Catherine's into a rucksack I found in the trunk, along with another blanket and a candy bar - she was still very shaky and not in a position to be carrying a gun. Wrapping an arm around her, the flashlight in my other hand, we started to walk.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for reading chapter one and continuing on with this, chapter two; I really appreciate your thoughts/feedback if you have any, and hopefully chapter three will be up soon too! :)

Chapter Two

With every step we took I felt Catherine become less steady on her feet. I knew that walking was not helping her dizziness and the endless dark road was becoming tough, I had tried to make her eat the candy bar I had found but she had refused. My watch read 3:30am and I figured we must have been walking for an hour or so already.

"I can't walk in these shoes any longer." Catherine spoke quietly, coming to a stop.

"We have to keep going, Cath." I urged. I knew as cold as were now that when the sun came up it would be unforgiving in its heat.

Catherine slipped her heeled boots from her feet and tossed them to the side of the road.

I couldn't let her walk on the roads without anything on her feet. "What shoe size are you?"

"Eight."

"Well I'm a ten, but these will have to do." I pulled my boots from my feet and knelt down to put Catherine's feet inside them, tying the laces a little tighter than I had had them in the hope it would make the fit a little more comfortable for her. We started walking again, my eyes constantly scanning the distance for the light of a building or a vehicle as I held the flashlight shakily in front of us.

* * *

It was 5am and I struggled to put one foot in front of the other as my dehydrated body fought against the relentless tarmac. We must have only walked ten or so miles but it felt like a marathon. My eyes squinted into the distance, losing and regaining focus as I tried to make sense anything ahead of us.

"Sara, I…" Catherine's voice faltered and her legs gave way, her knees crashing to the road, her hands reaching out in front of her and landing on the tarmac too.

My heart sank as I realized how much of a bad state Catherine was in. We would have to stop. I pulled up back up to her feet and helped her from the road across the desert to find some shelter for us. "Come on, Cath, we're nearly there then you can have a rest."

Catherine only gave a whimper in response and I felt a lump in my throat at her distress.

We walked for another 30 minutes across the desert, away from the road, before we found a series of rocks, one of which had a gap big enough for us to sit in. It would keep the wind and eventually the sun off of us although we would never be seen from the road here. I helped Catherine sit down and placed the blanket she had been carrying over her body.

"Just rest now." I whispered, placing the flashlight on the rocky floor at an angle so that it shone at us both, and swept a trail of her long, blonde hair from her face to re-examine the plaster I had applied to her head. The bleeding had stopped and there wasn't much swelling, one blessing for the night.

"I'm so cold." Catherine looked at me.

"You'll warm up now we've stopped." I smiled, although I worried that us being sat still would make the cold night seem worse.

Catherine reached out and took my hands tightly in hers, "Keep me warm."

I shuffled around to sit behind her, letting her head rest gently on my chest, my arms wrapping around her body and my legs spread out either side of her. I could feel her shivering lessen as my body warmed her. "It's okay, Cath, I've got you. You're alright now."

Eventually I felt Catherine fall asleep against me. I wanted to cry, desperately, but I couldn't bare to let it happen. All I could think as I looked out at the dark desert was that we were going to die here.

* * *

It was 8am when Catherine began to stir, rubbing her eyes as she opened them to the sunlight.

"Hey." I still had a tight hold on her body from keeping her warm overnight, but even though it was still early morning I could feel the sun's heat begin to build. It worried me that we would face an even tougher walk to find help now than we had done in the night.

"Morning." She looked up at me, turning her body slightly. Her lips were so close, even despite the tiredness I felt, I wanted to capture them with mine.

"Let's eat." I moved away from her body, taking position opposite her on the other side of the small cave. I rustled through the rucksack to find the candy bar and passed it to Catherine. "Please eat this, then we can get going again."

"Aren't you going to have any?"

I shook my head. I felt nauseous.

Catherine frowned. "I'm not eating any unless you do." Stubborn, as always.

"Fine." I watched her break the chocolate into 2 halves and she passed me my bit.

We sat in silence for a few minutes as we both tried to make the small amount of food we had last us as long as possible. I studied Catherine's face - her mascara had smudged a little under her eyes from having been asleep, and her hair had lost its shine; her jeans were torn at the knees and her palms were scabbed from her fall last night. She still looked beautiful.

I looked down at my feet - my once white socks were now a mixture of dirt from the road and blood where the soles of my feet had caught sharper areas of tarmac. My mouth was bone dry and I knew that a few more hours in the desert without water and Catherine and I would be in serious trouble.

"I'm really sorry we haven't gotten on very well in the past." Catherine broke the silence.

"It's not your fault." I replied. We'd both made each others lives quite difficult at times.

"I don't think I ever really gave you a chance..."

"Don't worry about that now, Cath. Let's just get home."

She smiled at me, seeming to blink away tears.

I wanted to so badly hold her in my arms again but what good would that do? I climbed out of the cave space and helped Catherine out too, "We'll get back to the road and hopefully we'll see something soon." I told her.

Catherine slipped her fingers between mine and we began walking again.


	3. Chapter 3

I hope there are people reading this, would love to know if you are! Thank you if you did leave a review. Sorry this chapter is a little short, the next chapter is a much longer - I will try to post it either tomorrow night or Monday. :)

Chapter Three

Sweat dripped down my skin as the sun beat down on us; I had left my leather jacket and rucksack behind an hour or so ago, unable to take the weight any longer. Catherine still had a hold on my hand, the contact of comfort to us both as we silently made our away towards Spring Valley State Park in the hope we would either find someone on the way, or that people would be at the park if we ever reached it.

I tried to calculate how many miles we had walked but numbers didn't seem to make sense in my head anymore. I knew my watch read 11 but I could no longer work out what that even meant. The hottest part of the day was fast approaching, I knew that much, as my skin was beginning to redden. Catherine had tried to roll up her white shirt sleeves in attempt to get some air to her skin but I had rolled them back down, at least the white of her shirt would reflect the sun's heat.

I brushed my thumb across the back of Catherine's hand and she looked at me.

"If it wasn't for you I would be dead by now." she whispered.

"No. You're a fighter." I told her.

"I don't feel like it." Tears filled her eyes; she was starting to give up.

I stopped walking and turned to face to. "You are strong and together we're going to get through this." The tears in her eyes spilled down her cheeks and I wiped them away with my thumbs. "Don't you dare give up on me, Catherine. Don't you dare give up on Lindsey."

"I want to go home." she cried.

"Then we need to keep walking. I'm sure Grissom will have realized we're in trouble by now and sent someone out to find us. It won't be long now," I placed a kiss on her forehead and pulled away to look at her, hoping she could see the hope in my eyes and it may encourage her to keep going.

She slid her fingers into my hair and placed a soft, lingering kiss on my lips. Our mouths were so dry I could barely feel her kiss, but it made my heart surge and when she pulled away I slipped my arm around her waist and we carried on walking.

* * *

My eyes struggled to remain open as I pulled one foot in front of the other, only being able to focus now on remaining upright. My breathing was heavy and I had no idea where Catherine was, only that I could feel her next to me. The walk was now an endless trek and I felt desperately sad that this would be the end for us both, that I hadn't saved her. I felt Catherine's body give way next to mine and I crouched down next to her in the sand to help her to her feet.

"Catherine, wake up. Don't do this to me." I was sobbing but no tears came from my eyes, I was too dehydrated. "Don't leave me."

She didn't stir and with every bit of energy I could muster I slipped my arms under her body and rose to my feet with her in my arms. My legs buckled slightly at the increased weight but I soon regained control and carried on walking.

Every step I took was agony but I knew I couldn't stop. If I stopped then we would both die here and I wasn't going to let that happen. I tried counting to take my mind off the burning pain that was shooting through my feet from the open wounds that had developed on the soles of my feet from the rough tarmac, but I had no sense of numbers or time or space anymore. All I could see was the yellow of the desert and the black of the road ahead.

"Come on... come on..." I urged myself to keep going, over and over again, between heavy breaths as my body struggled to maintain the physical effort I was placing it under.

Soon, although I had no idea how soon it was from when Catherine had collapsed, I saw a flicker of light in the distance and I tried to focus my eyesight to work out what it was. It was coming towards us.A car.

We were saved.

I felt my knees collapse and placed Catherine down next to me as the world span and darkness descended.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for reading/reviewing/favoriting, I appreciate it! Here's the next chapter :)

Chapter Four

A soft rhythmic beeping filled my ears. I could still feel Catherine's hand on mine. I breathed in deeply, but this time my intake of air wasn't mixed with sand, it was clear. "Catherine…" I whispered. I needed to hear her voice.

"Catherine is in the room next door, Sara."

I opened my eyes slowly to see Nick by the side of my bed, his hand atop of mine - not Catherine's.

"What?" My voice was croaky.

"You're in hospital. Catherine is fine."

Tears started pouring down my cheeks at Nick's words. She was okay.

"Try and rest, Sara. I'm going to let the nurse know you're awake." Nick's hand left mine and he disappeared out of the bright white room.

I took another deep breath of air and realized my mouth was no longer dry. My eyes caught sight of a drip attached to my arm and some other wires coming out from under my hospital shirt. Nick returned with a nurse within a few seconds.

"How long have I been here?" I asked.

The nurse helped me sit up in the bed a little and Nick passed me a glass of water. My hands were still shaky and he helped me sip the cold liquid before placing it back down on the table beside my bed.

"Two days. You've been through quite an ordeal." The nurse answered my question. She was a short blonde girl who must have only been in her mid-twenties, dressed in a blue cotton shirt and trousers, she had a clipboard in her hand and was writing something out.

"Is Catherine awake?" Tears stung my eyes.

"Not yet, honey." Nick looked at me sympathetically.

"But she's going to be okay?"

"Yes. She just needs to rest."

"I want to see her." I felt tears spill down my cheeks, I couldn't stop them.

"You can, soon. Grissom is with her for when she wakes up." Nick replied.

I let the nurse check my pupils and she replaced my IV bag with more fluid.

"How did you find us?"

"The officers at the scene called Grissom at 3am to say you'd never shown up, and Warwick and I drove out to find you but you weren't on highway 322, or on Great Basin Way."

I frowned, although unable to remember a lot of what had happened, I didn't know why they hadn't been on either of the two main routes around the state park.

"A family ending their vacation at Echo Canyon found you on a nearby road as they drove back to Vegas."

I lay back on the hospital bed and closed my eyes. Glimpses of what had happened were coming back to me, I remembered how Catherine had held my hand for hours, that I had kept her warm as she slept, how her lips felt against mine. Nick wiped my tears as they fell but it was a futile task as more tears only came after.

"You're alright now." Nick shushed.

Eventually I managed to fall back to sleep.

* * *

The next time I awoke I found myself alone in the hospital room. I slowly sat up and brought my legs to the side of the bed. I had to see Catherine.

I pulled the IV from my hand and the ECG stickers from my chest before easing my feet onto the floor. I glanced at a clock hung on the wall opposite my bed that read 6am, although being in here I seemed to have lost all concept of night and day. My soles were still very sore and I grimaced a little at the pain as I made my way out of my hospital room and into the corridor. The hospital was deadly quiet and I slowly headed down the corridor to the room next to mine. My legs were shaky and ached with every movement I made, but I would crawl if I had to.

Pushing open the door, I saw her asleep in the bed, Grissom sat next in the chair next to her, wide awake.

"You shouldn't be out of bed." he said quietly, as not to wake Catherine.

"I had to see her."

Grissom pulled up a chair alongside his and I slowly eased myself into it.

"She woke up a few hours ago, asking for you." Grissom said. "You were very brave to do what you did."

"I didn't do anything."

"The family that found you said that they saw you carrying her."

"Cath had collapsed, I wasn't going to leave her," I paused, "she wanted to stay in the car but I told her to walk. Maybe if we'd just stayed there and waited for Nick to find us she wouldn't be like this."

"If you'd stayed in the car you would have both gotten hypothermia, we both know that. Your only option was to walk in the hope of finding some help."

I wiped away a tear that I slipped down my face, "Is she okay?"

"She's fine, Sara. The doctor said you should be able to leave this afternoon and Catherine should be discharged tomorrow."

I reached out and took Catherine's warm hand in mine, the sensation of her skin on mine bringing back flashes of memories from the desert.

Grissom and I sat in silence for a few minutes before I went back to my room, tiredness taking over my body again. I closed my eyes only to dream of being back in the cave with Catherine, her body pressed against mine.

* * *

I slid my feet slowly into my black ankle boots, being careful not to cause myself any unnecessary pain, the doctor had assured me that the gashes to my feet would heal within a week or so, as long as I took it easy. I pulled a black hooded jumper over my cotton blue t-shirt and stood up off of the hospital bed to straighten myself out. Grissom stood a few feet away with a wheelchair, which I had told him several times I wouldn't be making use of.

I had visited Catherine again after lunch but she had still been asleep, and not wanting to wake her I assured myself that she was in fact fine and that I would see her at work soon enough. Grissom had tried to convince me to take some annual leave to recover, but I had declined - agreeing to take the rest of the day off and have a gradual increase of workload starting from tomorrow night's shift. Not working made me uncomfortable, my mind tended to drift when it didn't have something to occupy it, recently it had been drifting to Catherine but I knew without warning it could start bringing up memories from the past that could start a spiraling of events, mostly involving alcohol.

I let Grissom hold doors open for me as he led me through the hospital and out to the parking lot. He had offered to drive me home and then he would go back to the hospital to sit with Catherine before tonight's shift started. I appreciated the amount of time and care he'd taken with the both of us, although I didn't expect anything less, he was a kind man.

"If you don't feel up to coming into work tomorrow I would completely understand." Grissom said as he drove them through the busy mid-afternoon Vegas traffic.

"Don't worry, I'll be there." I paused.

"Do you want me to pass on a message onto Catherine when she wakes up?"

"Just let her know I'm home and alright?" It seemed like a bit of a pathetic message to pass on, I had so badly wanted to talk to her myself, but at least she would know I was thinking of her.

"I'll let her know." Grissom assured me.

We spent the rest of the drive to my apartment in silence and after thanking Grissom for the lift I entered my apartment building and took the lift up to my floor. Slipping the key into the front door and pushing it open, I stood in the doorway and surveyed my empty living space. My apartment was painted in warm shades of orange and brown, I'd attempted to create some sort of ethnic atmosphere when I'd moved in but it was outdated and bored me now. My kitchen and living room were in the same room but the kitchen area was blocked off by a counter, the living room area was basically a couch, a wooden chair and a coffee table.

I hated my apartment. It was so quiet, it made me feel crazy sometimes. I opened my fridge in the hope there was something in there that I could consume - a carton of milk and 3 eggs. I groaned and headed over to my couch, slumping down on the thin padding that covered the wooden frame. Part of me couldn't quite believe what had happened over the last few days. I had nearly died. Catherine had nearly died.

We had kissed. I didn't even know where to start when it came to trying to understand that. Did it mean anything to her, or was it a reach out for human contact in a moment of giving up hope? Part of me had wanted to have spoken to her today in the hope of gaining some sort of idea as to how she felt about me, was anything different now?

The longer I sat on my couch the cloudier my thoughts became, and soon the sun had set and I was sat in the dark. I could no longer decipher a good thought from a bad one and I settled into a platonic state where I could only remember the feeling of her body rise and fall against mine and how good it had felt to have her in my arms, even if just for a few hours. I eventually fell asleep, only to dream of the endless sandy desert and the pounding heat, and the feeling of despair I had felt as I had watched her collapse next to me.

* * *

Work couldn't come soon enough the next day, and despite my shift being scheduled to start at midnight I was in the lab by 9pm and trying to work through some paperwork I had lost track of the previous week. Sat in the break room, I sipped at a steaming cup of coffee as I shuffled through what seemed to be a mountainous amount of papers.

"Are you sure you should be here?"

I looked up to see Nick pouring himself a coffee from the coffee pot. "I'm fine."

"You look tired."

"Stop worrying." I went back to my work in the hope he would leave the subject alone, but he came and sat down next to me.

"Catherine's getting discharged in the morning. Her sister, Wendy, is staying with her for a few days 'til she's back on her feet, but she's as desperate to get back to work as you were."

"Good." I was glad someone was keeping an eye on her for a few days.

"You know, if you wanted to talk about what happened, I'm here?" Nick reached out and put his hand on my arm.

I looked over at him and smiled, "Thanks, Nick."

He stayed sat down next to me for a few minutes, like he was trying to find something to say, before getting up and leaving the break room.

Time seemed to drag as I slowly made my way through form after form. I started to wonder if I should be in the lab at all, maybe my mind wasn't ready for this. Eventually my watch read midnight and I headed down to Grissom's office to see if there were any cases for me to work on.

Nick, Warrick and Grissom stood in the small office; Grissom leant up against his desk, paperwork in hand.

"Nick and Warwick, you've got a double murder at the Palazzo hotel," Grissom passed them a sheet of paper with the address and any details he'd been passed by PD. "I've got a burglary in Henderson, and Sara you're documenting some of swing shift's evidence."

"I'm not on a case?" I frowned. I didn't think I could bare to do any more paperwork.

"Not tonight." Grissom tried to close down the conversation by grabbing his jacket from the chair behind his desk and following Nick and Warwick out of his office.

"So I'm in the lab all on my own all shift?" I interrupted his walking.

"You're not on your own, you've got Greg." He turned back to face me, a little agitated.

"I want to be useful, Grissom."

"Sara, a few days ago we all thought you were dead, and we were nearly right," he snapped at me, "Let me take care of you for once." and with that he walked off, not allowing me the time to respond.

I sighed, annoyed at his shortness with me. He didn't need to take care of me, I could take care of myself. I let myself into the office next door that belonged to the supervisor for swing shift and grabbed the large cardboard box from the desk, before finding an empty evidence room and getting started on my work for the night.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you again for reading and reviewing. It makes me happy to know that I'm writing for other people, rather than just myself. :)

Chapter Five

I locked the door of my Denali and slid my keys in the back pocket of my black Levi's; I noted through the darkness that Nick's car was also parked in the parking lot and hoped he had brought Catherine into work like he had planned to do so, as her new car was on order. I nodded a hello to the receptionist as I made my way into the building and through the glass corridors to the locker room.

Once there I removed my dark blue sweatshirt and pulled on my CSI vest over my white t-shirt. Grissom has promised I could at least go out on a case tonight, even if I was just supervising, and I was looking forward to getting back to actually doing my job. I took a deep breath and turned to head towards to the break room, where I could hear the sound of Nick and Warwick laughing.

As soon as I saw her my stomach flipped and my heart momentarily stopped beating. She was sat on one of the chairs around the table, listening intently to a joke Nick had just finished telling. She looked more beautiful than I ever had remembered her. She was dressed in pinstripe brown trousers, a white shirt and tan brown leather jacket; dark brown leather boots completing the outfit. Her long blonde hair was back to its usual shininess and her make-up was flawless, she looked like she had never been through any of what had occurred to us.

Grissom and Warwick were stood against the counters behind Nick and both smiled at me as they noticed my presence.

"Hi." I slipped into one of the chairs around the table.

Nick shrugged off the rest of his joke and turned his attention to sipping his coffee.

"How are you feeling?" I asked Catherine.

"I'm fine." she smiled, but it wasn't the smile I had wanted to see from her, it was… disconnected. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. "Yes, I am." I returned her smile, but her eyes quickly left mine and I felt my heart go cold.

Grissom cleared his throat, "Nick and I are on a 419 on the strip."

"Warwick and Sara, can you take a hit and run in Winchester," he passed the address over to Warwick, "Sara, you're helping Warwick collect evidence and then you're coming back here to process it, that's it."

I nodded.

"Catherine, Doc Robbins has asked if you could help him out this evening ID'ing a John Doe that came in this afternoon?"

"Sure."

"Okay let's go." Grissom left the break room with Nick in tow.

"I'll grab a kit and my keys, see you outside?" Warwick asked me.

"Mhmm." I hoped the catch a second with Catherine alone before the shift commenced, but as I turned from Warwick to where she had been sat, she was already on her feet and leaving.

* * *

I knelt down on the road, tweezers in one hand and a brown envelope in the other, picking up glass shards from where the car headlights had broken upon impacting the victim, who had been taken to hospital. It felt good to be back at work properly and almost like I had never been away. Warwick had let me get a little more involved in the scene than Grissom would have liked, I had interviewed a few witnesses and spoken to a police officer who had been on the scene about the CCTV camera that belonged to a nearby convenience store.

I appreciated that I wasn't being wrapped in cotton wool by Warwick, but I doubted he would have done so even if I had needed it, he always seemed pre-occupied with something or other. It usually bothered me a little that he was so quiet but this evening I wasn't in the mood for light chat and was thankful for the silence.  
I finished photographing parts of the scene that needed my attention and collecting the broken headlight glass from the road before bagging everything up that I needed and finding Warrick. He was in the convenience store with the cop I had talked to earlier, getting the CCTV tape from the quite alarmed young guy behind the till, who unfortunately, despite only being 20ft away from the scene, hadn't seen the car drive into the woman as she had been crossing the road.

Warrick passed me the tape, "Pete said he'll drive you back to lab, if you're alright to make a start of processing." He motioned with his head to the cop who he was stood next to, who gave me a small smile.

"Sure." I replied.

Pete turned out to not be a very talkative character, I sensed for some reason that he was a little nervous, and the drive to the lab was a silent one. I spent most of it lost in my own thoughts, I wanted to text Catherine and make sure she was alright but she'd managed to drop her iPhone on the lab floor a few weeks ago and hadn't gotten around to replacing it yet, so any communication would have to be face to face which made me nervous after how she had seemed to blank me earlier.

I thanked Pete for the lift once he had pulled up outside the lab, and after grabbing my evidence bags from the trunk, I headed into the building. Finding an empty evidence room I dumped the bags on the glass table and took the CCTV to Archie for him to run through. On the way from Archie's office back to my evidence room I decided that coffee was needed, I was feeling pretty rough and was actually debating just working my 8 hour shift like a normal person for once.

I entered the break room to see Catherine nursing a cup of coffee, sat at the square black table. She was staring into nothingness, her hands cupped around the mug.

"Are you alright, Cath?" I asked, pouring myself a mug full of the caffeinated liquid from the coffeemaker.

She seemed to be startled by my presence, but gave a smile as she caught me eye - the same expressionless smile she had given to me earlier.

"How are you feeling?" I questioned, hoping to get a response this time.

"Fine."

I felt a twinge of sadness at her short response. "If there's anything I can do to…" I trailed off as I noticed that she was getting out of her seat and turning away. I watched as she left the break room and walked down the corridor back to her work. Whatever we had shared in the desert, any words between us, or comfort we had shared from each others touch, had obviously meant nothing to her. I was pretty sure I felt my heart break at that moment.

I could feel tears threaten to fall. I wasn't going to cry here, anywhere but here.

After collecting my sweatshirt from the locker room I quickly made my way out of the building and to my car. I started the engine as a sob caught in my throat, I breathed out slowly to try and steady my emotions. I felt as though the woman I had yearned for, and loved, had died when she had collapsed in the desert. I didn't know who this women was that now paraded around as Catherine.

A tear slid down my cheek and I quickly brushed it away, my eyes blurry with held-in tears. I desperately needed to be at home, to shut out the world and forget that any of this existed.

How was I going to get over her?

The Vegas night sky was filled of the bright lights from the casinos and bars; although thankfully, with it being 5am, the roads were pretty quiet. I tried to blink away tears but now they ran freely than before and I felt my whole body shudder as I struggled desperately to contain my emotions.

I pulled my Denali into an alleyway and turned off the engine just as another sob echoed from my body, I leaned forward onto the steering wheel with my head in my hands as I sobbed. I felt like the whole world had fallen in around me and the one person I had allowed myself to get close to had slammed the door in my face.

I was alone.


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks so much for reading so far. :)

Chapter Six

I hadn't slept since I'd gotten home and had consumed more coffee than I could imagine would be good for me, leaving me with an uncomfortable mixture of exhaustion and insomnia. I didn't even know where to start when it came to try to communicate with Catherine, I couldn't understand why she was avoiding me, but I had no idea what to say to her. I felt an endless hopelessness, like death had left its calling card, despite not taking me. Maybe she felt the same? But surely we should be helping each other, why was she pushing me away?

I managed to sit, restlessly, in my apartment til 7pm before changing from a pair of black cotton shorts and over-sized t-shirt into a three-quarter-length red shirt and dark grey jeans. I pushed my feet into my shoes, my torn soles sending a shooting pain through my body but I didn't care about them healing anymore. I grabbed my car keys and headed out the door.

The drive to work was quiet and I arrived at the lab in good time. I didn't know what I was going to do for the 5 hours before shift started but anything was better than being sat staring at the four walls of my apartment. I decided to make a start of the back log of cases that Grissom kept in his office, although I knew he had every intention of getting around to going through them there were never enough hours in the day for any of us.

I was grateful that he left his office open the majority of the time, meaning I could come and go as I needed. Catherine helped him out a lot of his admin work too, so it made sense for him to allow us access.

I took the seat behind his desk with the large box on my knees and shuffled through the files, although I wasn't looking for anything in particular, just something that could capture my attention. I pulled a file out: a murder of two teenagers in a swimming pool. I remembered it - Doc Robbins had found a large amount of drugs in their systems and water in their lungs and concluded that they had both drowned, but there had been defense wounds on one of the victims and Grissom had refused to close the case.

I placed the box back down on the floor next to Grissom's desk and turned my attention quickly to the tarantula on the desk. "Hello little buddy. How are you doing?" I asked.

He crawled around his glass box, oblivious to my existence.

"Don't worry, he ignores me too."

I looked up to see Grissom stood in the door way. "I was just grabbing an old case, to see if there was any thing we missed." I raised the manilla file in my hand.

He smiled appreciatively, but his expression turned to a small frown. "You know you should be at home."

"I would rather be here."

"You don't look well." He came over to his desk and I rose from the chair, realizing I was probably stopping him from sitting down in his own office.

"I feel okay." I lied.

He reached out and put his hand on my arm, "You left early this morning, were you feeling alright then?"

"I was just tired. Sorry." I replied, feeling a little guilty that I had left the lab two hours before my shift had been scheduled to finish.

"You don't need to apologize, just let me know next time, okay?"

I nodded and left his office, heading to the break room to read through the case file.

Unfortunately my attempts to solve the swimming pool double-murder didn't come to anything new and four hours later Grissom asked me to close the case and the team congregated in the break room as Grissom handed out the cases for the night.

"Nick and Warwick, you've got a 217." He handed over the address to the boys. "Cath and Sara, you're in the lab tonight, please," he looked up at both of us, and my expression matched Catherine's - annoyed disappointment at not being sent out on a case. "I'll take a 419 that's just come in," Grissom continued. "And I'm buying breakfast after shift, so don't be grabbing any 4am burgers."

"Nice one, boss." Warwick replied before he and Nick made their way out of the room.

"You two are on back log." Grissom spoke to Catherine and I before also leaving.

"It's probably best if we just go through the files in Grissom's office, that's where I left the box." I spoke to Catherine but avoided her gaze, glancing at my cellphone instead, although I already knew there would no new texts or missed calls. I left the break room and to my surprise Catherine followed me, I held the door open for her as I entered Grissom's office.

Leaving the only chair in the room for Catherine, I made myself comfortable on the floor and pulled the box between my open legs, my back pressed up against the wall. I shuffled through the files, although I knew what most of them entailed from my previous search, "Murder in a motel? Murder at a house party?" I tried to keep my tone light, like I wasn't feeling any of the emotions that I actually was.

Catherine sat down on the floor, opposite me, and watched as I flicked through the files. "Whatever you think might take my interest." She responded.

I looked up at her and caught her eye, I saw a softness and my heart filled with temporary relief, before she diverted her gaze to the box and I filled with sadness again. I passed her a file, "a couple murdered in their hotel room on their anniversary, no prints, no defensive wounds…" I trailed off, passing her the file.

She flicked through the papers, raising her eyebrows, "His life insurance was pretty hefty."

"I did my best to help you," I stuttered, allowing words to pour from my mouth before my mind could stop me, "when we were in the desert, I tried to save you, I didn't mean to make thing any worse for you, I'm sorry if you think I could have done more." I wanted to look at her but I couldn't bear to see her avoid my gaze again, so I stared at the files in my hands.

"It's not that, Sara." Catherine replied, her voice was quiet, but it wasn't harsh.

Then what was it?

I looked up from my files to ask her what she meant, only to find that she had left.

* * *

The rest of the shift seemed to drag; I spent most of it in the break room by myself, Greg came and talked to me for a bit but soon realized that I wasn't in the mood and left again. Catherine had gone back to Grissom's office after I'd left it, and I hadn't wanted to further upset myself by either being ignored or given cryptic answers by her.

Grissom and Nick soon joined me in the break room and made idle chatter as I tried to bring my case to a conclusion. I had been all over the lab looking for evidence boxes or people that had processed the evidence when the case had been open, unfortunately my research hadn't been a success. I planned to take the case home to read over again, but I knew I had to join the rest of the team for a breakfast I really didn't want to eat.

"I'm going to get pancakes, bacon and syrup." Nick grinned as we headed down the corridor - Warwick, Greg and Catherine joining us in reception.

"As long as I get a coffee, I don't care." Catherine smiled at the boys.

We made our way out of the lab and down the street a few hundred yards til we reached our usual diner. It was one of the few diners near to the lab and even though the food was basic, it was affordable and the staff were always nice. The restaurant itself had white painted walls, where photos of the family hung, there were lots of curved seats so large groups could sit together, as well as raised bar seats and stools dotted around. All the seats were covered in red leather and all the tables were made aluminum - it was the epitome of an American diner.

Grissom led us to one of the larger seating areas and we all slid into the curved seat - Greg to my right and Nick to my left, Catherine was on the other side of Nick. I remembered the last time we were here, Catherine and I had spent the whole time talking about a case we'd just finished (and solved) and she'd let me try her peanut butter milkshake. I remember her watching my lips as they had slipped over the straw, and my skin tingling as she had watched me sip the shake, oblivious to the fact I could see her looking at me.

Everything was different now. I let out quiet but exasperated sigh which unfortunately caught Greg's attention.

"Are you okay?" he asked me, concerned.

"Yes, sorry, just tired." I did my best fake grin and he seemed to buy it.

"So what can I get my favorite CSIs today?" Maggie, one of the waitresses was standing at the table with a notepad and pen in her hand, a sweet smile on her face. She was in her late fifties and married to the owner, who was the chef, and always seemed pleased to see us.

Everyone put in their food orders, and then it came around to me.

"Just a coffee, please." I smiled, praying that I could just order a coffee and the team would ignore the lack of food in my order.

"No, Sara," Nick raised his eyebrows at me, a little stern, "you have to eat something."

I wanted to frown at him, tell him where to shove his concern, I wasn't hungry, but I couldn't bring myself to be cruel to him, he was only looking out for me. "Some brown toast then, please." I wanted to be sick, I wanted to go to sleep, I wanted a beer. I wanted anything other than food, despite not being able to remember the last thing I ate.

Everyone, including Catherine, made small talk until the food arrived and as it did the conversation died down as everyone ate. I looked down at the toast on my plate, it had been so nicely arranged, with butter curls and a small dish of jelly on the side. I took a long sip of my coffee and allowed the liquid to warm my inside, it felt good. I spread the butter across the toast in front of me, hoping to be able to play with it until it went cold, and then make my excuses and go home. I could feel eyes on me and looked up from my food to see Catherine staring at me.

She looked worried and met my gaze, the longest amount of eye-contact we'd made since the desert, like she was trying to read my mind, before pushing away her plate of sausages and eggs, quietly saying something I hadn't been able to make out and leaving her seat.

"Catherine!" I called out after her, Nick and Grissom moving out of the way so I could get past them. I jogged to catch up with the blonde as she quickly made her way down the street back towards the lab. "Catherine, stop!" I reached out and grabbed her hand.

"Let go of me, Sara!" she turned to look at me and I could see tears running down her face.

"Tell me what's wrong, Cath." I pleaded.

"Leave me alone." She growled as she pulled her arm out of my grip and continued walking back to the lab.

I didn't dare try to stop her again. I ran my fingers through my hair, I was drained - I needed to go home. I walked slowly back to the lab parking lot so that I was sure Catherine would be gone by the time I got there.

My body was trembling with exhaustion and adrenaline from my altercation with Catherine as I drove home, and as I entered my apartment I was thankful it was only a few steps to my bedroom where I collapsed onto my bed and let sleep overtake my body.


	7. Chapter 7

I really appreciate your feedback, follows, favourites and the very fact you're reading this! Hoping to get the next chapter up at the weekend, but for now, here is chapter seven. :)

* * *

Chapter Seven

I sipped at the can of Diet Coke I had in my hand as I flicked through photo after photo of murder scene. It was a quite night in the lab, with only a few burglaries being called in for investigation and I anticipated that Nick and Warwick would be sent out to them, leaving Catherine and I in the lab again. I was anxious over seeing her after what had happened outside the diner this morning. The only positive thing that had come from the last hours was that a brief sleep had stopped my body from shaking.

I finished my can and chucked it at the bin in the corner of the break room. I hadn't made any progress with the case I had taken on last shift and was close to having to place it back on back log or close it. We were meant to be the victim's last voice and I felt responsible for not being able to make sense of the evidence in front of me. Someone was responsible for the crime and if I didn't find out who it was they may never be found, and possibly may murder again.

"Hey Sara," Grissom joined me in the break room, taking a seat in a chair opposite. He didn't waste any time in vocalizing his thoughts. "What happened this morning at the diner?'

I shrugged. "I thought Catherine looked ill, and when she got up to leave I was worried about her."

"And things are okay between the two of you?"

"Fine." I nodded.

"You couldn't come back to eat with us after you spoke to her?"

I noticed that Grissom seemed to look a little offended and I was unsure as to if he was questioning me to make sure things were alright between Catherine and I or comfort himself that I hadn't left him for no reason. "I felt ill too."

"Are you okay now?'

I nodded.

"Okay, great. I've put you and Catheirne on the burglary on Warm Springs Road."

"Both of us?" I was instantly torn between rejecting his proposal of working with Catherine or grabbing it with both hands in the hope I may be able to talk to her about whatever kind of friendship we had left.

"Yes. That's okay, isn't it?"

I knew that he question was really wasn't a question at all. "Yes. Where is she?"

"In the parking lot waiting for you. You're driving." and with that he left the room to get about his own work.

I tried to settle my nerves as I left the lab building and headed out into the cold Vegas night. I pulled my keys from my black suit trousers, which I wore with a cream, long-sleeved shirt and short leather boots, and spotted Catherine standing by my car. I pushed my key fob for the electronic locks to open and she climbed into the passenger seat without even looking up at me.

I got into the driver's seat and pulled the seatbelt across my body; I put the radio on and tuned it into a station that played mostly pop music in the hope of making the atmosphere a little lighter. I smiled at her, but she only gave a short, polite smile in return and I decided to remain quiet for the remainder of the drive. We soon pulled up to the location Catherine told me she was taking the perimeter before getting out of the car and walking off out of sight.

I met the owners of the house and took their fingerprints so I could compare any that I found around the property. I assured the couple, a young man and his girlfriend, that I wouldn't be too long and that Catherine was outside surveying the scene there, before I started photographing the house. The building itself was nicely decorated if a little small considering the rest of the houses in the area; possessions had been tossed around like the burglar had been in search of particular items - from what I could see they had only been interested in valuables such as TV, DVDs and jewelry. Catherine and I met up again around 4am, both of us having processed our parts of the scene and we got back into the car in silence. The drive back to the lab seemed to go on forever and felt more uncomfortable by the second. I was grateful when I parked us back at the lab but I knew we still had over 3 hours of processing to do - together.

I followed Catherine to an empty room for us to begin sorting through what we'd found out. Unfortunately, with swing shift staying late to clear their back log, the only room that was free for us to use was a small side room that barely anyone ever used. The only light was through the small square window pane in the door and a ceiling light that had an occasional flicker; the room had a long wooden table that ran along the back wall with a computer sat atop, there weren't even any chairs. It would have to do.

I shut the door behind myself and watched Catherine hook her camera up to computer, accessing the photos she had taken that night. I sat down beside her in silence, waiting for her to start explaining what she'd found, slightly worried that instead we would remain in silence. Thankfully she started to speak.

"There were footprints in the soil outside one of the windows, I cast the prints," she signaled to the evidence box on the floor that she had brought in to the room from the car. "They look like trainers, probably a man, judging from the width, size 12. I also found a cigarette end in a nearby bush." She flicked through her extensive collection of photographs from the scene. "Did you say the couple went out for dinner, and came back to find they'd been burgled?" Catherine glanced over at me, and then back at the screen.

"Yes." I took in Catherine's body for a second, the only chance I'd had to look at her properly since we started the shift. She wore a crisp black shirt and cream suit trousers, with black high heels. She looked stunning.

"So it's possible they were being watched before the break-in took place, by a man with size 12 feet and a nicotine addiction. What have you got?"

"I found some material attached to the broken window, I'm guessing the burglar broke in there to gain entry to the property," I looked through my own evidence box that I had placed on the long wooden table. I pulled the small plastic bag up to show Catherine, turning around to face her.

She took a step closer to me, to get a better look of the evidence in my hand.

"What do you think?" I asked. Noticing that her movement had almost closed the gap between us, I wondered if it was intentional or not.

I watched her blonde hair fall over her face as she looked at the material, her beautiful rosy lips pursing a little as she thought. "It looks like cotton, possibly from a t-shirt." she answered me.

I could hear my heart racing as my lungs filled with the sweet smell of her perfume. I tried to focus my attention on the material, but I could feel her warm breath on my face and I felt my knees go a little weak. I knew she was staring at me, and I looked at her to see her eyes watching my lips.

"Catherine..." I turned to face her, my voice just a whisper as my beating heart seemed to drown out my voice.

"Shhh." She put her finger to my lips, her blue eyes meeting mine.

I could have moaned right there, just to feel her finger on my lips, but I kept quiet, still unsure what her next move might be. Then she leant in and slowly captured her lips with mine, cautiously at first, but I soon deepened the kiss, wrapping my arms around her waist to pull her closer. I heard her moan as my tongue met with hers and I tried to take in every detail of the moment.

Knowing there was a wall just a few steps away from us I pushed her back up against it and hungrily turned my attention to her neck and the bare skin that her shirt revealed, her hands tangled in my hair as she moaned my name. I knew I was leaving marks on her body with my lips, sucking hard on her skin, and I slid my thigh between her legs before I took her lips again. My hands came up to cup her breasts, feeling her nipples hard beneath my fingers.

My heart came to a stop as she suddenly pushed me away and I took a step back with the force of it.

"I have to go." She choked, her eyes to the ground.

"Please-" I tried to reach out for her hand but she was already too far away for me to touch. She didn't even look back as she walked down the corridor, out of the building, and away from me.


	8. Chapter 8

As you've probably guessed we're heading into some M rated material, so please be aware of that as you continue to read this story. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I'll try and get another update done in the next few days. :)

Chapter Eight

The following week passed like I was in slow motion. Catherine had called in sick the day after our kiss, saying she was obviously still ill from the desert and had come back to work too early, Grissom had told her to take as much time as she needed. With Catherine off Grissom seemed to be super-aware of my health, making sure I had regular breaks and that I did all my shifts in the lab instead of out at scenes with Nick and Warrick.

I felt like I was going insane, mine and Catherine's kiss in the evidence room was all I could think about. I wanted her like I'd never wanted anyone in my life. Just remembering her finger on my lips gave me goosebumps. The longer she stayed away, the more my heart ached, and the more confused I felt. Did she want me at all? If she did, why was she doing this? Had I gone too fast for her? I had debated going over to her house but she obviously wanted space and it didn't feel right to intrude on that.

Grissom seemed intent of helping me clear all of the team's administrative work, which was technically his anyway, but I was grateful for the company. His conversations over bug identification or evolution of the human mind helped keep me busy, and sometimes he spoke of his mother, a subject that seemed to be quite a private to him, which gave me confidence in our friendship.

We had had quite a troubled three years working together in the lab; I had, for a while, had some quite intense feelings for him and had made it pretty clear to him on several occasions but he never returned my feelings and gradually my heart let it rest. I knew now that Grissom was married to his work, this was what his life was about and that was enough for him, in a way I respected him for that but also envied him: I so badly wanted to shut down all of my emotions and just get on with living, but I knew without Catherine I wouldn't be living at all, just existing.

I had taken a seat next to Grissom in his office, working at one end of the desk while he took the other. I was writing a finalized case report statement for a case that Nick and Warrick had just wrapped up - a missing man who had ended up being found dead in the trash outside the Bellagio. Apparently he taken an overdose, fell in there and died. Nothing in Vegas surprised me anymore.

I could still remember how Catherine had moaned my name as I'd kissed her neck.

I shut my eyes, trying to stop my mind from teasing me with memories.

"Are you alright, Sara?" Grissom asked.

"Yes, fine." I smiled at him and continued working.

"You know if something was bothering you, we could talk about it?"

"Mhmm." I offered him another smile and he seemed to leave it there after that.

* * *

Days more passed and I started to give up hope that there was any trace of my friendship with Catherine that was salvageable, let alone a relationship. I was starting to feel claustrophobic in the lab every day, but Grissom had listened to none of my complaints, I knew he was only looking out for me but I couldn't be his secretary forever, I was meant to be a CSI.

I almost yearned for the simplicity of how things had been before Catherine and I had crashed in the desert. The glances we'd shared that would make me wonder for the rest of the day if she had been thinking the same things I had; how she had seemed to have her shirt unbuttoned an extra button so that my eyes would struggle to focus on anything but her chest; the dreams I would have of her dancing for me; the odd brush of skin that would make my stomach do somersaults.

It was like she wanted me to want her, but she didn't want me in return.

Only now she had taken it too far and I had fallen deeper in love with her.

"Sara... Sara!" Nick waved his hand in front of my face and I blushed that I had been so oblivious to his presence.

"Nick, hi." I smiled at him.

"We're going for burgers, are you in?" he asked.

I noticed the cup of coffee in my hands had gone cold. I must have been sat here a while. "No, thanks."

"Your loss!" Warrick piped up from the doorway.

I laughed, "I'm fine, honest, guys, you go."

Nick and Warrick left me alone and I checked my watch - it was 6am. Shift was nearly over.

Grissom had gone out on a double homicide case with Brass, leaving only Greg and a few other lab assistants in the lab from the graveyard team. Day shift weren't due in for another hour and my footsteps echoed down the empty lab corridors as I made my way to the locker room to get my stuff. I was debating a trip to the nearby bar for a couple of beers to help me sleep but I knew drinking at 7am was a slippery slope I wasn't sure I could risk.

I hung my CSI jacket up inside my small locker and slipped on a brown cotton shirt over my black t-shirt.

I really wanted a beer.

"Hey."

I spun around to see Catherine stood in the doorway. She looked serious and it made me nervous.

"Hi." I turned my attention back to my locker, mindlessly shuffling items around in order to distract myself from her. My heart was going at one hundred beats per minute as I tried to stay cool.

"Is Grissom around?"

"No, he's on a case. It's just me, Greg and a few other staff left." I looked up from my locker to see her heading towards me and she took my hand in hers as she became close enough, pulling me around to the end of the line of lockers at the back of the room so that we couldn't be seen from the corridor. She trailed a finger down the side of my face, her eyes filled with something I couldn't decipher, but it made my skin tingle.

"I'm sorry about the day other day." I said, my voice shook a little as my body filled with nervous anticipation as to what she was going to do.

"Don't be." She replied, "Please don't be."

She pressed her lips against mine and I was surprised by the force of her kiss. She had her body hard up against mine, my back to the cold metal of a locker, and her hands either side of my head as she ground her hips against mine, her kisses hungry.

I slipped my fingers under her pink silk blouse and slid them up her soft back, reveling in the feeling of her bare skin under my touch. I moaned as the friction between my legs was becoming more and more intense; Catherine's kisses refusing to let up in their passion, her tongue massaging mine.

She brought her mouth to my ear, her breath hot against my skin, "I want you."

I couldn't help but moan in response to her words as her hips continued to grind against me.

I wanted my hands all over her.

I wanted her in my bed.

The sound of footsteps came down the corridor and into the locker room, my hands falling away from Catherine's back as we realized someone else was in the room.

Catherine stepped back away from, smoothing out her shirt before giving me a small smile and stepping out from the end of the lockers, into view of whoever was there.

"Grissom, hi. I was looking for you." Catherine smiled.

"In the corner of the room?" he asked.

"I thought I'd dropped my earring there last week, but I couldn't find it," she lied.

I kept my back to the locker and tried to breathe quietly. Catherine had decided that whatever was going on between us wouldn't be shared with anyone else in the lab and it wouldn't be fair to make myself known now.

"What did you want me for? Are you feeling better?" Grissom asked.

"Yes, I think I'm ready to come back to work." Catherine started to walk away from near where I was hiding and outside the room, I heard Grissom's footsteps follow her down the corridor and after a few seconds I slid out from behind the locker.

I grabbed my bag from my locker and left the lab.

My whole body felt like it was on fire - I needed a cold shower, as soon as possible.


	9. Chapter 9

All your favorites, follows and reviews are amazing! Thank you so much. This chapter is a little shorter than normal, but there's a big chapter coming in a few days! :)

Chapter Nine

Butterflies filled my stomach as I half-listened to Grissom tell Nick and Warrick about a new breakthrough in insect life-cycle. We were gathered in his office, among the jars of animals, and I was waiting for Catherine to turn up.

After my encounter with her in the locker room this morning I hadn't been able to think of anything else. I had also gone through my entire wardrobe twice in an attempt to find something nice to wear, I'd only been able to settle on a short-sleeved white blouse and dark red jeans, but it still didn't feel like anything she would class as 'special'. I wondered what she thought of me at all, we hadn't really spoken, although I had enjoyed our alternative activities.

"Here she is!" Nick announced as Catherine entered the office.

"No need to make a fuss, please, I'm fine." she laughed, holding her hands up a little in an attempt to calm Nick's excitement.

"We missed you." Warrick wrapped his arm around her shoulders briefly before she took a space to stand next to him.

She held my gaze for a couple of seconds, a suggestive smile playing on her lips as her eyes fell down to take in my body.

I could have melted on the floor right then and there.

"Nick and Catherine, you've got a missing person case," Grissom handed Catherine the case information, "Warrick and Sara, you've got a homicide at Silverstone Golf Club."

I let Warrick take the address from Grissom and gave Catherine a sad smile at us not working together that shift, which she returned, before Warrick and I headed out of the office and to our crime scene.

* * *

Having processed the scene with Warrick for six hours, we'd come back to the lab with some napkins, all the golf clubs (as they were the suspected method of murder) and a load of different fingerprints lifted from all over the club. The joys of a communal building.

I sat in one of the offices in the lab in front of an IAFIS computer, trying to bring up any prints that belonged to people with a violent past - users of the golf club that would be more likely to be responsible for a murder. The search was becoming pretty hopeless, just a load of prints returning from people who had agreed to have their prints stored due to their profession, such as a casino worker or law enforcement. None of them had any immediate connection to the victim.

"Can you run this print through IAFIS for me?" Catherine popped her head around the door of the computer room I was sat in. She was wearing a low cut white lace-detailed vest and dark jeans, with a black blazer over the top.

"Sure I can." I smiled, glad to see her.

She came over and slid the ten-print card under the scanner. We waited for the computer to start its search.

I felt her breathe on my skin as she leaned over next to me to look at the screen, my whole body tingled.

Her hand rested on the back rest of my chair. "Anything coming up?" she asked.

I looked from the computer over to her, my eyes catching sight of her cleavage before meeting her eyes.

She smiled, knowing that she was teasing me.

The computer beeped and brought my attention back to work. "Here, there's a match." I hit the print button on the screen and the printer next to us started to kick into action.

"Thank you. I'll make it up to you."

"You better."

She turned to look back at me as she exited the room, "I promise." She winked.

* * *

The rest of the shift was spent spraying each golf club from the venue with Luminol in the hope of some blood showing it. I eventually did find blood on a singular club, but the prints left on it were all smudged, and I sighed frustratedly that I was back where I started hours ago. I glanced at my watch - 9am. It was definitely time to go home.

"You look like you need a night off."

I looked up from the line of clubs on the evidence table to see Catherine enter the room.

"I do." I replied, honestly.

Catherine came over to stand next to me, "I think you should take tonight off, and take me out for a drink."

"Do you?"

"Mhmm..." she played with an empty evidence bag that was on the table, "I also think if this lab wasn't full of people I would have my hands all over you."

I met her eyes and she raised her eyebrows at me, a cocky smile on her lips.

"I'll ask Grissom if I can take the time off." I told her; it taking all the self-restraint I had not to kiss her then and there.

Catherine slipped her fingers between mine, our hands below the desk and out of sight of anyone that might pass by the glass walls of the room. "I'll come and pick you up in taxi, about 8?"

I squeezed her hand, it felt good to be able to make some sort of physical connection with her. "That would be nice."

"It's a date." she replied.

She slipped her fingers out from mine and I watched as she walked out of the office and down the hall.

A date with Catherine Willows.

I was already nervous.


	10. Chapter 10

Thanks for sticking with me on the last chapter. I hope you all find this one a bit more interesting. :)

Chapter Ten

I fiddled nervously with my keys as I stood in my apartment, waiting for Catherine to pick me up. I wondered what plans she had for us for the night and what it would actually be like to be on a date with her. I knew I had some questions to ask her, like why she had pushed me away when I had kissed her, only for her to come onto me a few weeks later. Was this serious to her?

I felt bad that I had told Grissom that I wasn't feeling well enough for tonight's shift, it was totally out of my nature to lie to him, but this was important, maybe it was time to finally put my heart over my head. I played with the hem of my black halterneck top, glancing out of the window to see if her car was there yet - it wasn't. I debated having a drink for some courage but starting the date off drunk really wasn't something I wanted Catherine to see from me. I wanted to be better than that for her.

I looked down at my dark blue denim jeans and black heels, I'd gone for a shorter heel than I normally would have done - Catherine was a few inches shorter than me and I didn't want to tower over her. I'd let my hair go a little curly at the ends instead of it's usual straightness and I'd found a purple eyeshadow that seemed to bring out my eyes a little.

I heard a car beep and my heart jumped at the sound. I took a deep breath and left my apartment, pocketing my keys in my jeans and taking the lift down to the ground floor. Catherine was parked just outside the building and I climbed into the passenger seat, "Hey."

"Hi," Catherine smiled at me, her lips a beautiful subtle shade of red. "Look at you." I felt myself blush at her attention and she leaned in to place a kiss on my cheek before slipping her fingers between mine. "How are you?"

"I'm good." I smiled back. My heart felt like it was going to explode. She smelled gorgeous and she looked even better. She was wearing a short blue silky dress that cinched in at the waist, and heels so tall she would probably be the same height as me when we were out of the car. Her tanned legs seemed to go on forever, despite the fact she was only 5ft 6" without shoes. "You?"

"I'm actually a little nervous," Catherine confessed, pulling the car out of the parking lot and onto the road, "You're all I've thought about all day."

I brought her hand, still entwined with mine, up to my lips and placed a kiss on the back of her hand, enjoying the feeling of my lips on her skin.

She glanced from the road to meet my eyes, giving me a smile.

"You look stunning." I told her. "Where are you taking me?"

"A cocktail bar... you do drink cocktails, don't you?"

I didn't have the heart to tell her I was a beer drinker, it wasn't like we'd been out drinking with the rest of the CSI team that many times for her to know, and to be honest I would drink anything if I was drinking it with her. "Of course."

We spent the next few minutes in slightly anxious silence until we parked up outside the 'Downton' cocktail bar.

"Have you been here before?" I asked as we left the vehicle and walked the few meters up to the building.

"I came here once about five years ago, with some friends," Catherine replied, "it's nice." she assured me, with a smile, before pushing open the large wooden entrance door.

Inside the building was decorated in rich reds and browns, candles sat on each table around the large room, and more candles lined the back of the bar area, where three members of staff were busily shaking cocktails for a small collection of people at the bar. Other than the candles there wasn't much else in terms of lighting, giving the tables a more private atmosphere. Loud house music was playing, drowning out a lot of the conversations that people were having around us.

Catherine led me over to a table near the back of the room, and I took a seat on the curved sofa seat. I looked around, a little uncomfortable - this wasn't the dingy, cheap bar near work that I was used to. This was Catherine's kinda place. It was classy.

"What are you having?" she asked, staying stood so that she could go and order drinks.

I desperately tried to think of the name of a cocktail but none came to mind.

She grinned, "I'll surprise you." And with that she made her way to the bar.

I studied a few of the people around the room. There were a lot of groups of men and women, all involved in their own lives, none of them seemed to notice how out of place I was. I wasn't naive, my job meant that that luxury was gone, but it had been at least six or seven years since I'd spent any of my free time somewhere like this. I realized as I looked around that I was the only woman here in jeans - all of the other women wearing little black dresses with the highest heels I've ever seen, and long shiny hair. I smiled to myself that none of them looked as beautiful as Catherine.

A long cocktail glass was placed in front of me, a straw and a cherry poked out of the bright pink liquid. Catherine sat back down next to me on the sofa, leaving little space between us which made the butterflies in my stomach give a flicker. She sipped on her cocktail before placing it on the table next to mine.

"Did the hit from IAFIS last night get the arrest you wanted?" I asked.

"Yes, it did," Catherine grinned, "although working with Nick was a bit of a drag. He acts like I'm made of glass and I'll shatter at any point."

I laughed, "He'll settle down when he realizes you're okay."

There was a moment's silence between us before Catherine spoke. "You know, I never really thanked you, for you what you did in the desert."

"You don't have to, I-"

"No, I do. You put my life above your own and I will never be able to thank you enough."

"Is that what this is?" I asked, "is this you thanking me?"

"No, Sara," Catherine slid her hand over my thigh, "I knew when we were in the desert that I couldn't keep my feelings for you hidden anymore, I couldn't bare to think that I would die there without knowing what it was like to kiss you."

"So why did you refuse to speak to me, and then push me away when I kissed you in the lab? And then spend weeks avoiding me?" I asked, confused.

Catherine paused, like she was trying to find the right words. "I haven't been on a date in four years... even then it was just dinner and he never called me again. I've never introduced anyone new into Lindsey's life - it's always been her, Eddie and I, although he visits so rarely he may as well not exist," she took a sip of her cocktail. "I don't even know where to start when it comes to telling her that I'm seeing someone that's not Eddie, and that that person is a woman, but I want you to be a part of her life, and I want us to have that together." she paused again, her eyes falling to her lap as she seemed to struggle for words again.

I reached out and stroked my thumb against her cheek, bringing her eyes back to me. I noticed she had tears in her eyes.

"I pushed you away because I'm scared, Sara. I'm scared that I will end up hurting you, that things won't work out between us and Lindsey will be affected, I'm scared that I haven't felt like this about anyone for such a long time, I don't know what to do with all these feelings. When you were a fantasy," her cheeks blushed a little at her words, "I just accepted that that was all you would be, but now... I want you, all the time."

I slid my fingers between hers and offered a soft smile which she returned. "We don't need to rush into this, Cath. I don't just want you for a quick fuck, or some office fling, I'm in this for the long run."

She responded by capturing my lips in a kiss than sent waves of pleasure across my body. I released her hand and slid my hand around her back, pulling her closer to me. I could feel the heat between my legs sky-rocket as she flicked her tongue against mine, before pulling away.

"You know we will get in trouble for this at work if anyone finds out." she pointed out.

"Does that bother you?" I asked.

"No, I think we should keep it to ourselves for a little while, just until I figure out the right way to approach it with Grissom; I think it may come as a bit of a surprise to him." She smiled. "Can I get you another drink?"

"Sure." I sipped the remainder of my drink as she went over to the bar.

* * *

I had no idea what time it was but Catherine and I were now drinking a green cocktail with a sugar rim on the glass. Our table was filled with empty glasses and Catherine, realizing that beer was really my drink of choice, had decided to try and convince me that cocktails were better. We'd watched groups of people come and go at the bar and I figured we must have been here a few hours.

We'd managed to leave the subject of our relationship alone after our discussion about it at the start of the night and had moved onto talking about Lindsey, some cases at work and general conversation. We'd talked about Catherine's past as a dancer, and I knew at some point we would have to discuss my past too, but that wouldn't be tonight.

My fingers were slipped under the hem of her dress, my fingers slowly dragging backwards and forwards across the bare skin of her thigh as we talked. My mind flickered between the cocktail I was drinking and the thought of my lips on Catherine's skin.

Conversation died down as I felt Catherine's legs part slightly and my fingers slid down between her thighs. I was thankful for the minimal lighting in the room and the large table in front of us, hiding my actions from anyone in the room.

She closed her eyes, leaning back against the back of the sofa as I dragged a finger slowly between her legs, the feeling of her soaked panties making my body feel as though it was on fire.

I wanted her.

I needed her.

But not like this.

My fingers left her body and she opened her eyes to see why I had stopped - she looked hurt. "Catherine, as desperately as I want you, when I take you to my bed it's going to be when we're both sober enough to remember it." She didn't look entirely impressed with my decision, but I knew she would be grateful in the morning. I knew my self-control wouldn't be strong enough to refuse her a second time, it was time to go home. "Come on, let's get out of here." I took her hand in mine and we left the building.

Although Catherine's car was parked nearby neither of us were in a fit state to drive it and we walked for a few minutes before a taxi rolled up. I gave the driver directions to Catherine's house, to drop her off first. Catherine leant into me as I wrapped one arm around her, her head on my shoulder. We stayed like that in comfortable silence until the vehicle pulled up outside her house.

She looked up at me and I smiled at her softly before placing a kiss on her cheek. "Goodnight, Cath."

"Night, Sara." she replied, returning my smile, and slipping out of the taxi to head up the driveway to her house. The taxi driver waited to make sure she got inside okay before driving off again, this time to take me home.


	11. Chapter 11

I am so sorry for the time it has taken me to write this update, but I hope it was worth the wait! :)

Chapter Eleven

It was the start of shift and I found the team gathered in the break room; Nick and Grissom going over case notes from last night's shift and Warrick and Catherine working on a crossword puzzle together. My head was still pounding from the amount of cocktails I had consumed last night despite having taken several painkillers when I had woken up, but things felt clearer today now Catherine and I had spoken about how she felt and I was grateful for that.

"Hi Sara." Grissom greeted me as I entered the room and I gave him a small wave as I poured myself a coffee.

I caught Catherine's eye and she winked at me before turning back to her crossword puzzle.

"How are you feeling?" Grissom asked.

"Still a little groggy," I told him, "but much better than I was last night."

"Catherine was ill too," he spoke as I took a seat at the large table next to Nick, opposite Catherine. "I hope you're not both coming down with something."

I blushed as I remembered my fingers under Catherine's dress and could only sip my coffee as my brain and mouth refused to create a response. I was thankful that Grissom went back to his case notes with Nick and I glanced over at the crossword to the other side of me. "5 down is 'progression." I smiled at Warrick.

He shook his head as he wrote in my answer. "Damn, girl, you're too good at these."

I sipped at my coffee as Grissom left the room to see if any cases had come in for us.

"Hey, Cath." Nick grinned. "Do you fancy going on a date?"

Catherine frowned, confused.

Nick laughed, realizing he hadn't fully explained himself. "I have a friend, who is looking for a nice lady to wine and dine, and y'know, I thought of you."

"That's very kind, Nicky." Catherine's frown was replaced with a smile.

I could feel my heart in my throat as I wondered what she would say. Would she agree to go on a date with Nick's friend to cover up our relationship?

"But I'm afraid I'm not interested." she added, going back to the puzzle, pen in hand.

"Oooh," Warrick elbowed her lightly, "I think Catherine's got someone already, Nick."

I took another sip of my coffee in an attempt to not attract any attention to myself. Although I was pretty sure I was the last person Nick and Warrick would suspect Catherine of being in a relationship with.

"That's none of your business." She didn't look up from the table, although her voice was light.

Nick gasped, a large grin on his face, "I knew it!"

"Who is he?" Warrick asked.

"I told you, it's none of your business." she repeated.

Grissom re-entered the room, paperwork in hand, and took his seat back down next to Nick.

"Catherine has a boyfriend." Nick told him.

Grissom raised his eyebrows, but gave a smile. "It was about time you found someone that made you happy."

"I have." Catherine replied, glancing over at me.

I could have leant across the table and kissed her right then and there, in front of all of them. I made her happy.

"Okay, so Catherine and Sara, you're on a 211 on Warm Springs Road in Henderson. Nick, you're with me for a 419 at the casino on the edge of town. Warrick, you're on backlog."

Warrick groaned at Grissom's words.

The hint of butterflies I had felt in my stomach increased ten-fold at the idea of spending the evening's shift with Catherine, despite a burglary case being one of the less interesting crimes we dealt with. I gulped down the rest of my hot beverage and we both rose from our seats and headed out the room and into the corridor.

"Shall I drive?" I offered.

"Sure, I'll get the kit and see you outside." she replied and we went out separate ways across the building.

* * *

"I meant to say thank you for last night, when you dropped me off in the taxi," Catherine sat in the passenger seat of my Denali, one arm rested on the door, supporting her head with her hand; her other hand was interlaced with mine. "Not just for a lovely evening, but also for knowing that last night wasn't... the right time."

I didn't really know what to say, "I had a good time too, and it's okay." I assured her.

We pulled up at the scene a few minutes later and Brass greeted us at the front door of the property. "The owner of the house is nowhere to be seen, but the burglar made such a noise that a neighbor heard and called it in... unfortunately the guy had disappeared by the time we got here." Brass then made his excuses and left the scene, leaving us alone.

Catherine followed me into the house evidence collection kit in hand and we slowly made out way through the rooms of the house - everything looked relatively neat, not like there had been a break-in at all. The house was large, with glass walls, and winding staircases - whoever owned it obviously had money to burn.

"Apart from the busted front door, there doesn't look like there's any other damage to the property." I frowned.

"Whoever was here was after something in particular." Catherine replied.

We made our way into the the last room of the house - the office. A top of the range computer sat on a large glass desk, papers covered the remaining space of the desk, and a leather chair sat behind it. The room was painted a dark blue colour, with a hardwood floor, and bookshelves lined the walls down towards a walk in cupboard that wasn't more than 1 meter squared in diameter.

"This is it." Catherine switched her flashlight on and shone it at the open closet.

I could see already that the inside of the small space had been disturbed. The contents of the shelves had been pushed to the floor, leaving a pile of receipts and other documents at our feet as we stood at the doorway of the closet.

I began by printing the door as Catherine photographed the scene, we did so in silence, trying to piece together the crime from what we could see. There were a few partial prints on the door and I collected them, placing them into our evidence kit.

"Sara, there's blood in here."

I rose from my knees and joined Catherine in the small space as she shone her torch to the right hand wall. There was a bullet in the brick, some blood splatter surrounding it.

"This was a close contact shot, it went straight through..." I examined the bullet as I pulled it from the wall. "Looks like it's a 9mm." I turned back around to face Catherine and realized how close we were to each other.

I could hear her breathing as my eyes immediately fell to her lips. I so badly wanted to kiss her.

Her fingers slid around my waist, under my shirt, sending a shiver across my body at her delicate touch to my bare skin.

"We need to process the rest of this scene." I whispered, although I wished that she would ignore my words and kiss me.

Catherine's hand receded from my body and she smiled at me, before turning to continue processing the rest of the inside of closet.

We spent an hour or so with back-to-back as we searched signs that anything might have been stolen from the cupboard, and trying to figure out who was shot there and where they were now. We shared theories and dismissed ideas as we spoke them, hoping that we could piece what little evidence we had together that might bring us closer to an answer.

Working in such close proximity to Catherine was proving tougher as time went on, the odd brush of skin sending my body into overdrive, I knew I couldn't take much longer in this space before I would have to take her to my bed.

"I don't think we're going to get any more out of this, Sara." Catherine sighed, having sprayed the entire space with Luminol to reveal nothing. "There's a search out for the guy who owns the house, Timothy Markson - until he's found for us to question, we can only take the evidence back to the lab to process." She turned to face me.

I reached out and brushed a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear, "Let me take you to bed first."

Catherine's eyes lit up at my words, "I wish you would."

The drive across Vegas was quiet, 4am on a Thursday obviously wasn't a popular time to be out. My heart pounded in my chest at the realization of what was about to occur. I was thankful that the drive to my apartment was a short one and soon we were parked up outside my building and in the lift up to the fifth floor. I glanced at Catherine as I slid my key into the front door and she smiled at me. I smiled back, taking her hand in mine and pushing open the door.

I opened my mouth to introduce her to my apartment, but she had already pulled me close to her, closing the front door behind us, and crushing my lips with hers. I moaned at the hunger of her kiss and reveled in the feeling of her fingers on my black shirt, releasing the buttons in lighting speed to reveal my black bra. I felt my breakfast bar hit the bottom of my back as she pushed me up against it, her lips leaving mine to make their way down my body, sucking hard on my neck before she properly removed my shirt and bra and took one of my nipples in her mouth.

"Oh god, Catherine." I breathed at the sensation of her hot tongue flicking over my nipple before she paid the same attention to the other.

My whole body ached for her as she dropped to her knees and started to place kisses around my belly button, her fingers working on my jeans. "Bed." I muttered, bringing her up to her feet. I kissed her hard, taking the few steps in to my bedroom before pushing her back on to the bed. I stripped myself of my jeans, socks and boots before straddling her. My tongue fought with hers for control, her fingers playing with my hard nipples.

"Do you have any idea how crazy you've driven me?" I asked, pulling away from our kiss to pull her t-shirt over her head. I moaned at the sight of her lace bra, and she slid one of her legs around me to pull me closer to her, my lips falling to her breasts. Her thigh greeted the inside of my thighs and my hips met the rhythm she created with hers, the grind of her body against my own nearly sending me over the edge then and there, but I wanted to taste her.

I slid myself down her body and slipped her panties down her long tanned legs before parting them gently. I blew gently over her and watched as she writhed at my teasing. "Do you want me?" I asked.

"Oh god, yes." she breathed.

I glanced over her naked body as she lay on my bed. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I couldn't believe we were here, like this, the moonlight that broke through my bedroom curtains casting the bed in a mixture of milky white light and shadow. I slid my tongue between her folds and relished in the moan she produced from my actions. I let my tongue slide up and down her several times as slowly as I could bear to put her through, before my lips sucked on her center. She tasted like heaven.

Her fingers entwined in my hair as I slid my tongue inside of her. The sweet, guttural sounds she was making were sending shivers across my skin as I continued my actions.

"Make me cum, Sara, please." she begged.

I couldn't deny her any longer. My tongue flicked over her center repeatedly before I sucked hard on her again. I felt her body contract against mine and words spilled from her mouth as she arched from the bed, her fingers still inter-weaved in my hair, pulling me closer into her.

I watched as her body slowly settled back down, her eyes opening to stare at the dark ceiling. Her fingers slid out of my hair and fell by her side and I pushed myself up the bed to kiss her gently.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

She nodded, trailing a finger down between my breasts and across my stomach. She stopped at the start of my panties, "These need to come off."

I was soaking wet for her, my center was pulsating hard and my release couldn't come quick enough. She slid my panties off of my body and took one of my nipples in her mouth as her fingers teasingly made their way south from my stomach, eventually she slipped a finger into my wet folds and I moaned in appreciation.

Her single finger was quickly joined by another one and she dragged them back and forth across my center before plunging them deep inside me.

"Fuck... Catherine..." my eyes slammed shut with the pleasure she was causing me and she pumped her fingers into my wetness.

Her lips soon joined her fingers, her tongue focused on my center as her fingers continued to fuck me, hard.

I spread my legs further out as I felt my release building inside me like. Her fingers curled inside me, dragging their way out before pushing back in me, the continued intensity quickly sending me nearer and nearer to the edge. My fingers grabbed the bedsheets around me as I felt a third finger enter me and with a last flick of her tongue I came with a forcefulness I didn't know existed within me.

My breath was ragged as she slipped her body around mine.

I wanted to say a million things to her but I was unable to form words, my whole body still coming down from my high. We stayed in silence for a few minutes before Catherine spoke.

"Sara?"

"Yes?" I looked down at her, her head resting on my shoulder, my arm wrapped around her waist.

"I think I'm falling in love with you."

"I fell in love with you a long time ago, honey. You have no idea how happy it makes me that you're by my side."

Catherine smiled at me and we shared a few seconds more of peace, before she said what I was knew was coming "We better get back to work."


	12. Chapter 12

Thanks for reading so far and all your reviews/favourites. :) I'm really trying to get back into the habit of updating twice a week for you guys, so hopefully chapter 13 will be up at the weekend, but in the meantime...

Chapter Twelve

I watched as she studied the papers we collected from the floor of the cupboard, also known as our crime scene. We were trying to make a connection to the items that had been left on the shelves and what, if anything, had been removed. I was stood next to her in one of the larger evidence rooms of the lab, my hands in my jeans' pockets as I watched her work. I wanted to slip my hands around her waist and place kisses on the bare skin of her neck; I wanted to take her home and run her a bath and make her dinner and just... be with her.

Catherine was focused on the case in front of us, playing with the idea that someone had broken in to the house to get something in particular, and unexpectedly found the owner of the house, Timothy Markson, there as well - we were still yet to find him and with no DNA comparison our blood sample from the splatter on the wall was pretty useless.

Her blue eyes scanned through the papers, "I can't make a connection out of these. Some of them are gas receipts, some of them are invoices for building work..." she sighed, frustrated.

"I'm sure we'll come up with something." I assured her, although we both knew there was no way I could confidently say we would solve this.

She looked up at me, her gaze so intense it made my mind flicker with memories of her between my legs just an hour ago. I felt Catherine slide her fingers under the back of her shirt, teasing the bare skin of the base of my back with her fingers.

"I can't get enough of you." She told me quietly.

I smiled at her, noticing that her hair was still a little messy from being in bed, I liked it. I was about to reply as Nick entered the room.

Catherine's hand snapped back to her side, and I saw Nick's eyes notice the movement, but he didn't say anything of it. "So get this," he placed his case file on the table, "your house owner, Tim Markson, is our dead casino guy."

"What?" Catherine slid the file around to face her.

"We already matched the DNA from the blood you found at the house to him - he had a gun shot wound to the stomach, but that wasn't what killed him." Nick explained.

"Well he obviously didn't bleed out at the scene, there wasn't enough blood." I replied, confused as to how our two cases had collided.

"He died from blunt force trauma to the skull, around 20 minutes after the neighbor called the burglary in." Nick placed his palms down on the table, leaning over slightly to see what evidence we had collected from the house.

"That's a pretty quick turn around, even if the scenes are close together." Catherine pointed out.

"This was impulsive. Whoever broke in didn't expect to be caught, but when he was, he shot Tom Markson and took him with him. Why not just leave him in the house?" I tried to make sense of the information Nick had given us.

"Maybe the killer was trying to clean up? Leave no trace?" Nick suggested.

"Do you have any suspects? I have some partials from the door handle at the house, but I haven't had a chance to run them yet." I asked.

"How long were you both at the scene? Have you not had a chance to do any of the processing yet?" Nick frowned.

"We got a coffee on the way back here." Catherine's tone was sharp and it closed down Nick's questioning pretty quick.

"The vic was murdered outside the casino, around the back, just out of sight of a camera. Doc's just prepping the body, so that might show up something for us to get a lead on." Nick's change of subject was a welcome one.

"I'm going to have a look at these partials and see if I can get a hit from IAFIS." I made my way out of the room, thankful that Catherine had stopped Nick's questions, but concerned that our lengthy absence from the lab had been noticed.

* * *

Hours passed and the whole team seemed to be going nowhere with the case. I was thankful when the clock hit 8am and Catherine and I decided it was time to call it a day. Grissom and Nick had decided to stay back to try and make some progress with the evidence they had.

I slipped my green cotton jacket over my shoulders and closed up my locker. It had only been a few hours since Catherine and I had been together in my bed, but I already longed for her touch, the idea of going back to my empty apartment seemed a strange concept, despite the fact I had done it every day for three years.

"What are you doing tomorrow night before work?" Catherine asked, having closed up her locker on the opposite side of the room, she now leant her shoulder on the locker next to mine, facing me.

"Nothing." I replied.

"Mind if I come around for an hour before shift?"

I grinned at her, "Of course you can."

"I'm sorry it doesn't make up for me having to run off this morning, I have to take Lindsey to school."

"You're a mother, Catherine, I understand you have to do these things, you don't have to apologise."

She seemed relieved at my words. "I'd really like to kiss you right now." She replied, her voice a little quieter in case anyone in the corridor overhead.

"I wish you would."

She placed a kiss on her fingers and placed her fingers against my cheek tenderly. "I'll see you tomorrow." she promised.

I smiled at her and she left the locker room. I leaned up against the metal lockers, closing my eyes with a contented sigh. I felt like all my Christmasses had come at once: the woman I had spent so long yearning for, that I thought I had lost in the desert, was in fact in love with me, and God knows I was in love with her.

I opened my eyes after a couple of seconds, knowing that I really needed to get home and sleep. Raising my head back from the locker I noticed Nick stood in the corridor looking in at me and I knew, despite no words being passed between us, that he knew exactly what was going on.


	13. Chapter 13

Sorry about the delay in posting, I've had a tough few days but it feels good to write for you guys now I've found the time.

Chapter Thirteen

"I don't think you have any idea how beautiful you are." Catherine trailed her fingers down my bare arm, curled up beside me as we lay in my bed. I was propped up on one elbow, looking down into her big blue eyes.

"Don't be silly, Catherine."

"I'm not being silly, I'm being serious." she raised her head a little and placed a kiss on my chest just below my shoulder blades.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd been called 'beautiful'. I wasn't sure it had ever really happened before. 'Clever' yes, but 'beautiful'... I smiled as Catherine shifted her naked body against mine, enjoying the warmth of her against me under the covers.

"We need to get back to the lab soon." She sighed.

"What if I won't let you?" I teased.

She grinned as she looked up at me. "I don't think you could stop me if I wanted to."

"Wanna bet on that, Willows?" I raised my eyebrows.

"I sure do."

I pinned her wrist down to the bed whilst rolling to lay between her legs, pinning her other wrist as I settled my body weight on top her of. "Do you still want to go to work?" I asked.

"If I could choose between work and you, I would choose you every time."

I placed a tender kiss on her lips, grinding my hips into her gently. She moaned against my mouth at the movement and I couldn't help but smile, pulling away from our kiss. "Do you like that?"

"The last hour we've spent together making love should have confirmed that, Sara." Catherine pulled me into another kiss and I reveled in the feeling of her hands running across my bare back.

Eventually we parted for air and I grudgingly slipped out of bed and into the bathroom to shower. I let the hot water pour over my body, rubbing shampoo into my hair before covering my skin in the excess bubbles and rinsing it all off.

"You are so sexy." I looked over at the doorway off the bathroom to see Catherine stood there, fully dressed and a cup of coffee in hand.

I felt myself blush at her gaze, but let her continue to watch until I stepped out of the bath/shower unit and wrapped a towel around my body. Catherine passed me the coffee in her hands and I sipped it gratefully, enjoying the hot liquid slip down my throat.

After drying my hair and dressing myself, I found Catherine in the living room watching TV. I smiled at how relaxed she was in my apartment, it was like she belonged there. "Are you ready?" I asked.

She flicked the TV off and got to her feet, "Yes, I am."

We shared a last kiss before leaving the apartment block and driving our separate cars to the lab.

* * *

With two new cases assigned to the team for that shift, Catherine and Grissom went out to collect evidence from a drive-by, and Warwick was sent to photograph a store break-in. Nick and I were given the task of trying to make sense of the case from last night.

"Grissom and I didn't make much progress after you and Catherine left yesterday," he explained, us both back in the evidence room from before, our photographs still hung on the walls. "We matched a partial from our scene to your scene."

"IAFIS didn't get a hit on the partials from my scene, so no luck there."

"The vic, Tom Markson, did have a gun registered in his name - an old Browning pistol, which takes 9mm ammo, so we may have a match there."

"Maybe that's what what in the cupboard." I suggested.

"Well it wasn't at his house or at the casino, which suggests the killer either ditched the weapon somewhere or still has it."

"This is going nowhere." I sighed.

"Can I ask you a question?" Nick asked and I filled with dread as I knew what was coming.

"Sure." I replied, I couldn't really say no.

"Are you and Catherine a... is there something going on?" He seemed awkward in his question, which was rightly so, it wasn't any of his business.

I paused, pursing my lips and avoiding his gaze. Catherine had said she didn't want anyone at work to know, but could I lie to his face?

"Please tell me the truth, Sar, we've been friends for three years, you know I wouldn't tell anyone."

"Yes, Catherine and I are seeing each other." I caved, frustrated that he had asked at all.

"Are you two planning on telling everyone at some point?"

"It's not really anyone else's business." I replied shortly.

"Well it's against office policy."

I looked at Nick, annoyed that he wouldn't drop it now he had the answer he wanted. Since when was he bothered about office policy? It wasn't too long ago he slept with a prostitute that ended up dead. He seemed concerned more than anything, although I wasn't sure as to why. "We'll tell everyone eventually." I raised my eyebrows at him, "Do you have any more questions?"

He shook his head, and I could have sworn I saw a little pink flush his cheeks, realizing everything he had just asked.

"Can we carry on with work now?"

He cleared his throat and turned his attention back to our work, "Of course."

I wondered how true to his word Nick would be that he would actually keep it to himself but I hoped to God that he did. I didn't want Catherine to think I had abused her trust by telling someone else, and I didn't want our relationship to be passed around as office gossip until it got to Grissom, who would have to follow office procedure on work relationships and move one of us to another team. I wasn't ready for us to not be working in the same team anymore.

A couple of hours passed as Nick and I ran samples of material past Greg in the hope we would make a connection somewhere, but eventually I needed coffee and left the evidence room to head towards the break room. I saw Catherine sat in there on my own and my heart leapt, a few minutes with the beautiful blonde would certainly brighten my shift.

I poured myself a mug of the caffeinated liquid and sat down next to her. "Hey."

She smiled at me, looking up from a pile of papers that she had in front of her on the table.

"Anything interesting?" I asked, taking a sip of my hot drink.

"Just some admin work that Grissom can't find the time for," she sighed, "I wish I was curled up in bed with you."

I watched as a small yawn escaped her lips and I wondered what it would be like to fall asleep next to her.

"I was thinking," Catherine broke me from my thoughts a few seconds later, "You should come and have dinner with Lindsey and I on Monday night."

I didn't know what to say to her. I was touched that she wanted to invite me into her house, to meet Lindsey properly instead of just a quick 'hello' the few times she had been to the lab with Catherine, but I was nervous too. What if she didn't like me?

"You are free on Monday, aren't you?" my silence made her unsure.

"I am." I smiled. "And I'd love to."

She looked relieved. "Good. I will attempt to cook something vegetarian."

I loved the fact she remembered that I was vegetarian.

"Sara, I want us to build a family together - you, Lindsey and I ... I know these things take time but I do want you to be a part of her life. She would be so lucky to have someone like you to look up to." Catherine's words seemed to come out a little nervously, but sincere.

I felt my heart stop at that moment. A family. Like the one I had had? What kind of parent would I be?

"Sara?" Catherine reached out to stroke my arm and I smiled at her.

"Sorry, honey, yes Monday would be great."

Catherine's fingers lingered on my arm, "I told Grissom I would only be on break for ten minutes, I better get back. Will I see you tomorrow, before work?"

"Of course you will." I replied, the same smile forced to my lips as my thoughts ran at a thousand miles a second.

I needed to tell her about my past.

I couldn't let her bring me into Lindsey's life without knowing what had happened... who I was. With two violent parents and twelve years of living in a violent home, followed by six years of unsettled, despairing life in care, and an adult life teetered on the edge of an alcohol problem, I wasn't the CSI role-model that Catherine thought I was, I was scarred.

She left me with a wink but where I had felt pleasure in her affection, I now felt guilt and shame.

I wanted to perfect for her, but I was as far from perfect as anyone could get.


	14. Chapter 14

I am so sorry about a lack of updates lately guys, I've had a really rough couple of weeks and have really only just found the time to sit down and write this. I hope to get back into updating regularly again now though, so looking to update again by the weekend.

Have a great holidays.

* * *

Chapter Fourteen

My mouth was dry, my palms sweaty as I sat fidgeting nervously on my couch, waiting for Catherine to arrive. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath to try to calm myself but my breath shook in my chest and the confirmation that I was nervous seemed to make me more nervous.

I was meant to be meeting Lindsey tomorrow over dinner at Catherine's house, the thought of it scared me to death, not in the event itself but what it meant to Catherine and the sort of bond I was expected to make with Lindsey, like I was going to be someone for her to respect. I blamed myself for letting it get this far, when Catherine had mentioned previously that she anticipated I would have a friendship with Lindsey - I should have told her everything then, instead of spending hours in my bed with her, letting her fall for me, and in turn falling deeper for her myself. I heard the buzzer go and for a split second I debated not answering, I wanted to lock myself away with a bottle of cheap alcohol and forget everything - but I knew I couldn't do that to her.

I buzzed Catherine into the building and awaited her knock on my apartment door. Sure enough, within a few minutes there was a soft knock on the thick wood. I opened the door with a nervous smile, it was the best I could manage. Catherine slid her arms around my waist and kissed my lips with more tenderness than I could have ever imagined being shared in something so simple.

"I missed you." She purred as she nibbled on my earlobe gently. I so wanted to take her to bed and enjoy the beauty of her naked body against mine, but we had to talk.

I pulled away from the kiss gently and Catherine immediately sensed something wasn't right. I took her hand and led her over to the couch, sitting down next to her. I tried to control my nerves but I knew I was failing.

"You're shaking." Catherine said, worried, as she held one of my trembling hands in her steady ones.

"We need to talk about some stuff before I meet Lindsey properly," I explained, although I was already choking back tears, my gaze on the wall behind Catherine, as I knew that looking into her deep blue eyes would be a sure way to allow the tears in my eyes to pour down my cheeks. "It may change your opinion on whether or not we continue with our relationship."

"Sara, you're worrying me." Catherine replied, still keeping a comforting hold on my hand.

"I should have told you before, but...things seemed so perfect. I'm sorry." I knew I wasn't making much sense to her, I was probably making things worse by not being clear, but words were spilling from my lips before my mind could process them.

"Whatever it is, honey, we'll be okay."

Her reassurance seemed to give me the power to start my explanation, and I took a breath before starting to speak. "My childhood wasn't easy, my parents' relationship was volatile and... violent." I glanced up at the ceiling in an attempt to stop tears from falling, my voice cracking as I spoke."Most of my memories are of hiding under my bed or sitting in a hospital waiting room, and I don't really remember much about the night it happened but I knew when I heard the screas that it was different this time."

"When what happened?"

"When my mother murdered my father." I caught Catherine's glance and she seemed shocked. I would have been too if I were her.

There was a few seconds of silence before I found the words to continue. "I was in care til I turned eighteen, and I don't think I ever found a family I could settle down to. I started drinking a lot," I felt a hot tear escape down my cheek, despite my attempts to hold them back. "I was out of control for a long while, I've never really had the kind of life that most people would consider to be 'normal'."

"We've all got a past, Sara, baby. I didn't think you were any different-"

"Catherine, I had two parents who beat the shit out of each other. What kind of parent would that make me? What kind of person am I? What if I turn into one of them?" More tears slid down my cheeks and I didn't bother to try to contain them any longer. My breath hitched on a sob and I let go of Catherine's hand to bury my head into my hands. Hard sobs took over my body with a power I didn't know existed. I hadn't cried in front of someone for as long as I could remember. I hated Catherine seeing me like this, but I couldn't stop.

I felt Catherine's hand on me, rubbing my back gently.

"I'm so sorry." I choked, trying to get air into my lungs. "I wanted things to be so right for you and Lindsey and I-" Another sob interrupted me but I persisted as much as I could, "I'm not who you thought I was."

"You saved my life, sweetie, do you think that's the sort of thing that someone with a bad bone in their body would be capable of?" Catherine pulled me into a hug, leaning back against the couch so that I was laid on her chest. Her fingers brushed against my head gently, occasionally running through my hair. She placed a kiss on my forehead.

She held me for what seemed like hours, although I was unsure as to the exact length of time, my chest sore from the gut-wrenching sobs that had taken over me. I eventually felt a steady pace of breath return and I closed my eyes as I let myself become lost in the comfort of Catherine's body against mine. "I don't know who I am and it scares me." I told her, my voice a whisper. "What if there's a murder gene."

"I know who you are," Catherine replied softly. "You're the woman I love, that's all that matters, and I don't believe there's a murder gene."

I hadn't intended my words to Catherine to be like this, I had wanted so much to just tell her my past and let her make an informed decision about our future. I didn't know where my tears had come from, but relief filled my body that I had let them go and that Catherine was still by my side. "I would understand, y'know, if this was too much for you."

"I'm not leaving you, Sara. I love you and I know you're going to be fantastic with Lindsey, no matter your past."

I looked up at her and placed a kiss on her lips. She wiped my cheeks with her thumbs as I pulled away.

"I love you too." I replied before placing my head back on her chest.


	15. Chapter 15

A day later than I had anticipated but also slightly longer. Thanks for your continued reading. Next chapter's gonna be a big one - watch out!

* * *

Chapter Fifteen

I knocked on the door of Catherine's house, a bottle of wine in hand - it seemed rude to arrive for a dinner date without a present. I could see movement coming from inside the house through the dappled glass square that was inset into the dark wood. I cleared my throat, a little nervous, but full of the comfort that Catherine had offered me yesterday, she believed that I could be a part of Lindsey's life and I trusted her deeply.

I looked down at my black cotton shirt, dark denim jeans and my work boots and wondered if I was dressed appropriately. Catherine hadn't offered any kind of idea as to how I should dress. Was this a casual event or not? It didn't feel casual.

The door pulled opened and there stood Lindsey. The blonde eight-year-old offered me a big grin and opened the door wider for me to come in, "Hi, Sara."

"Hey, Lindsey." I smiled in return and entered the house, shutting the door behind me just as Catherine appeared.

"Sorry I was getting food into the oven," she apologized.

I eyed Catherine's attire - black jeans, black heels and a red silk shirt, mostly covered up an apron which looked like it had been involved in a food fight. "You've been busy?" I asked, smiling a little.

She noticed that I had eyed her apron. "Not a word until you've eaten!" she warned, playfully, "You may be impressed by my culinary skills."

"I'm sure I will be," I assured her, passing over the bottle of wine.

Lindsey was stood between us and seemed impatient that we had ignored her. "Mommy, can I show Sara the painting I did at school today?"

Catherine didn't have a chance to respond before the little girl had tight hold on my hand and was dragging me upstairs. I smiled nervously at Catherine, who seemed be thrilled at Lindsey's actions. Lindsey pulled me up the stairs and into the first room on the right hand side of the long corridor at the top of the stairs. Her room was everything an eight year old girl's room should be - filled with toys and games and every wall was brightly decorated. I stepped cautiously over the dolls that had been left on the bright pink carpet and over to the corner of the room where she had stuck her painting to the wall.

The large white paper canvas was covered in a drawing of Lindsey and Catherine, holding hands as they stood in their garden, next to their house. The sun was shining largely in the sky and had a big, grinning face. It was the drawing of a happy child, and it made me smile.

"This is mommy, and this is me." Lindsey pointed to the figures on the picture.

"It's a very nice drawing." I replied.

"Mommy says you're going to be spending more time with us." She sat down on the carpet and I followed her actions.

"If that's okay with you?" I asked, cautious as to what her response would be.

She nodded. "Mommy says you saved her when she was in the desert."

"I did." I replied, not wanting to go into any detail with her over the finer details of the situation. I only did what any normal person would have done.

Lindsey wrapped her arms around my shoulders in a tight hug and I felt tears spring to my eyes. I placed my hands softly on her back and hugged her in return.

"Lindsey, bring Sara downstairs, it's dinner time!" Catherine called up the stairs and Lindsey sprung from the hug and raced downstairs.

I climbed to my feet and took a slow breath, trying not to let my emotions get the better of me. I had been so nervous about this, it was almost like Lindsey knew and wanted to make me feel welcome. I headed downstairs and followed the smell of food into the kitchen.

The kitchen was small, with work oak surfaces against every wall and a large black stove. I could see the dining room through a doorway to my left, Lindsey sat patiently at the table in there, and Catherine came from there, untying her apron as she did so.

She smiled at me as she saw me, pulling the apron over her head, "Would you like a glass of wine?"

"I would, please."

"Red or white?"

"White would be nice."

Catherine open the door to the large fridge and pulled out a bottle of white, pouring two large glasses before placing the bottle back in the fridge. She passed me a glass before clinking hers against mine. "To us." she smiled.

"To us." I concurred.

Catherine pulled me a little closer to her, so that we were out of sight of Lindsey in the dining room, before taking my lips in a soft kiss that made me knees tremble and my heart soar. She pulled away and took a sip of her wine, her eyes never leaving me. "I love you."

"I love you too." I smiled. It felt good to say it, really good. I think part of me had loved Catherine since I laid eyes on her on my first day the lab, but our clash of personalities and the struggle I had faced inside to recognize that I was in love with a woman that seemingly hated me so much had made my own thoughts and actions so much more complicated. Our time in the desert, despite its trauma, had really been a game-changer for the both of us.

"Take a seat at the table, I'll bring the food through." Catherine stroked my arm softly and I made my way into the dining room to take a seat at the table with Lindsey.

Lindsey made small talk about her day at school as Catherine placed a plate in front of each of us. I nodded along to the chatty little girl's stories, Catherine eventually taking her seat at the table. I looked down at my plate of food - it looked beautiful.

"It's Shallot tarte tatin with goat's cheese, with spinach and almonds." Catherine spoke.

I raised my eyebrows at the title of the dish. She really had gone all out to impress me, I loved that she had.

Lindsey wrinkled her nose at the spinach but quickly made a start on the tarte and conversation began to flow easily between the three of us. The main course was followed by vanilla ice cream and brownies and soon Lindsey started to give way to small yawns, tiredness overcoming her.

"Come on then, Linds, I think it's your bedtime." Catherine smiled, empty dessert bowls in front of us.

I checked my watch - it was nearly 9pm. "I'll clear the dishes." I offered, standing from the table.

Catherine and Lindsey exchanged a hug before Lindsey waved to me and made her way upstairs to bed.

Catherine helped me clear the dishes from the table and into the kitchen, placing them on one of the many work surfaces around the room. "Thank you for tonight." she wrapped her arms around my waist.

"Thank _you_, honey, it was-" I was cut off by the sound of the front door opening and closing.

"Nancy." Catherine spoke and soon we were joined in the kitchen by a blonde woman, dressed in a light blue nurse's uniform. Her hair was pulled back and she had some resemblance to Catherine, but her eyes were cold and her expression solemn. She was younger than Catherine, but only by three or four years.

"I didn't think you'd be back til gone midnight." Catherine smiled at her siter, her arms gone from around my waist, instead hanging loosely by her side.

"Sorry, I didn't realize I would be interrupting." She replied shortly.

"This is Sara... Sara Sidle. We work together." Catherine introduced me to the stern blonde and I reached out my hand to her.

Nancy shook my hand but looked confused as to what I was doing in Catherine house. "Are you two working on a case tonight or something?"

I felt my heart rate increase as I wondered what Catherine was going to tell her sister. Much to my surprise I felt Catherine's warm hand slip between mine, entwining with my fingers, "Actually Sara and I are together."

Nancy raised her eyebrows, "Like, dating?"

"Yes. Not that it's any of your business, but now you know."

I wanted to pick Catherine up in my arms and kiss her senseless, I was so proud that she'd told someone about us, it wasn't just our secret anymore, we were actually a couple.

"Fine, but I don't envy you telling mom." Nancy shrugged and left the kitchen.

"Is your mom quite tough to deal with?" I asked.

"No tougher than any other mom." Catherine replied, although looked a little uncomfortable after she had spoken. Her mum wasn't a murderer like mine.

We shared the washing up whilst conversation turned to work and the few pending cases that had landed in back log as we struggled to keep up with the new cases that came in on a daily basis. We needed more staff but Ecklie would never let that happen, which meant more hours for us all. It was nearly 10pm by the time Catherine and I finished clearing the kitchen and I knew with Nancy home there was no chance of our evening being extended.

Catherine followed me to the front door and I turned around to face her, pulling her into a kiss which she quickly deepened. My whole body was on fire at her touch, her fingers gently scraping on the back of my neck as my hands pulled her hips closer to mine.

We eventually parted for air and I smiled her, "Good night, Catherine."

"Night, Sara." She placed a kiss on her hand before gently pressing her fingers to the side of my face. "See you tomorrow."

I made my way away from Catherine's house and into my car, my heart pounding loudly in my chest at the rush our kiss had given me and I felt a soft breath leave my lungs and a smile cross my lips.

God, I loved Catherine Willows.


	16. Chapter 16

Wow, this has been a long time, I'm so sorry. I've re-written this chapter a couple of times and I had it playing out in my head a few different ways and I wasn't sure which way to go, but I think we've got there.

Chapter Sixteen

Her fingers trailed delicately over my skin, her touch as light as a feather across my cheek and down my neck, circling just above my breasts. Her breath was soft and warm and my skin tingled every time she exhaled, my fingers caught up in her long blonde hair as she lay by my side under the sheets.

Her bare legs brushed against mine as she gently changed her position against mine. I closed my eyes, a gentle sigh leaving my lips.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you more." She whispered back, placing a kiss on my cheek.

I didn't think it would be humanly possible for her to feel more love for me than I felt for her, it was like it wanted to burst from my chest, but I didn't argue with her.

I felt her weight shift beside me and her mouth slowly slipped around one of my nipples. I moaned at the feeling of her lips on my skin, combined with the teasing of her tongue, making my whole body burn with desire. I parted my legs slightly and she slowly placed a trail of kisses on my stomach and hips, knowing what I wanted.

"Don't tease me, Cath." I pleaded.

"But I like to tease you," she purred, her lips now on the inside of my thighs, gently edging closer to the contact my body was begging she would make. She blew a soft breath of hot air between my legs, a moan escaping my legs as I throbbed with desire for her.

It was then she slid her tongue gently inside me.

* * *

I pushed the door of my car shut and hit the lock key on my fob, placing my keys into my jeans pocket before turning to make my way across the floodlit car park towards to the lab. I saw Catherine come up along side me and we exchanged a knowing glance, that less than thirty minutes ago we had been making love in my apartment. She brushed her hand against mine as we walked down the corridors of the laboratory; I felt tingles cross my skin and looked at her to see a smile on her lips.

We entered Grissom's office to meet Warrick and Grissom who were both stood either side of the desk, in a conversation that ceased as soon as they caught eye of us.

I frowned a little, suspicious of what it was they were talking about, but dismissed it as idle chatter. "Where's Nick?"

"He got here on time so he's already gone to the scene." Grissom responded, looking up from the papers in his hands.

I didn't justify his comment on mine, or Catherine's, arrival to work with a response. "Is that the scene I'm on?"

"Yes." Grissom responded, his gaze back down at his hands.

"What about me?" Catherine asked.

"We've got a body that's been found in Lake Mead. You ready to check it out?" Warrick asked.

Catherine nodded and they both left the office.

"I want to talk to you later." Grissom spoke as I had my back turned to leave the room.

"Sure." I said before walking off, confused as to what he wanted to talk to me about. I had applied for the opening of level 3 CSI a few months back, before the incident in the desert, it seemed like a lifetime ago, but maybe he had come to a decision as to who would have the position.

* * *

The time I spent with Nick at our crime scene on the outskirts of Henderson was quiet but I had no intention to make conversation with him, I was too occupied with what Grissom wanted to talk to me about.

"We're going to have to take the car back to the lab," Nick said to me as he hung up his cell, "We need proper light to go over the trunk again. I've arranged for someone to come and collect it."

The case we were working on involved a kidnapped girl who had been found in the trunk of the car. She'd died in there and only been found by a hobo looking for stuff to sell or a place to sleep. He'd called it in in the hope of a cash reward. We were still yet to I.D her but she looked like she could have only been around thirteen years old.

I nodded in response to Nick's words.

"We also need to go through the missing persons register to try and I.D the girl. Sara, are you even listening to me?"

I realised I'd been staring off into space and met Nick's eyes, "Yes, I'm listening."

"What's on your mind tonight?"

"Just... stuff." I shrugged. I wanted to tell him about my meeting with Lindsey and Nancy, and ask him if he knew what Grissom wanted to talk to me about, but since he had asked me about my relationship with Catherine I didn't feel the need to share more information with him than he already knew. Maybe somethings were too private to share.

"If you need to talk," Nick placed his hand on my t-shirt covered forearm and offered a friendly smile.

I returned his smile, "Shall we head back to the lab?"

"Sure thing."

I drove my Denali back to the lab with the radio on full blast in the hope that heavy bass of the music would distract me from the butterflies in the stomach over my meeting with Grissom. Unfortunately the butterflies I was feeling were also mixed with a feeling of dread that filled the base of my stomach. Something told me that my level 3 application wasn't the reason he wanted to see me.

* * *

I cleared my throat before knocking on Grissom's office door. I heard him call me in and I pushed the glass door open, closing it behind me once I was in the room.

"Take a seat." He offered the chair in front of his desk.

I sat in the thin framed leather back chair and smiled at him cautiously.

He was still immersed in paperwork, but after a few seconds he slid his pen lid back onto his pen and looked up at me. "We need to talk."

"That's why I'm here." I smiled but he didn't smile back.

"You were late for work this morning."

"By ten minutes." I corrected him, a little annoyed that he would mention it, "I work sixty, sometimes seventy hours weeks. I only get paid for fourty, I think I'm owed ten minutes."

"Since when did you care about how many hours you were being paid for, and how many hours you actually worked, Sara?"

"I guess I've just re-evaluated some of the aspects of my life." I replied, nonchalant.

"I know why you were late." he replied, his voice and face showing no emotion. "I also know why Catherine was late."

I stayed silent, the butterflies in my stomach had vanished and I felt like my heart was now in my stomach.

"How long have you been sleeping with her?"

I wanted to tell him it was none of his business, that he had no right to ask me but he did. He was my boss and Catherine was my superior. "A few weeks."

"It's against office policy."

"I know that."

"Then why are you doing it? If Ecklie found out he would fire you both on the spot, which is exactly what I should be doing right now." Grissom's tone was becoming increasingly sharp.

"Since when did you become Ecklie's best friend?" I could feel anger start to build. Until Catherine and I made our relationship official there was no need for him to do anything.

"Since when did you become the office slut?"

"Excuse me?" I asked, incredulous at his question. "Because I asked you to dinner two years ago and you turned me down? Is that what this is about?"

"I was just wondering who the next member of the team you were going to approach is, once you've become bored with Catherine."

I got to my feet, pushing my chair back, "I didn't get bored of you, Grissom, I gave up on you because after a year of asking you for breakfast, or coffee, or dinner, and making it quite clear to you how I felt you continued to ignore me. Just because I've moved on it doesn't give you the right to-"

"If you value your job then you'll break up with Catherine."

"That won't happen."

Grissom shifted in his chair uncomfortably, like he had expected me to agree to his ultimatum.

"Who even told you about this?" Only two people knew about Catherine and I. Nick and Nancy.

As shocked as Nancy had been I didn't think she was the sort of person to possibly get Catherine fired over it, she wouldn't have done for Lindsey's sake at the very least.

Nick.

"You're not the only one that applied for the CSI 3 role." I almost saw a smirk on Grissom's face, but I already knew exactly who he was referring to and I left his office, making my way to the evidence room where Nick would be.

I found him with his head in the trunk of the car we had processed a few hours earlier near Henderson. I grabbed the back of his blue overalls and spun him around, pushing him against the side of the car and grabbing his collar.

"You piece of shit." I growled.

"What are you doing, Sara?" Nick asked, his voice a little shaky from my outburst.

I pulled him forward slightly before pushing him back against the car again, "I trusted you!"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You knew I wanted that CSI 3 role, and then when you saw your chance you thought you'd try to get me sacked!" I shouted, feeling strong hands grab my arms and pull me backwards. I knew from the sheer strength of the person who had grabbed me that it was Warrick, and I struggled against his grip, trying to lunge for Nick.

"I told you about Catherine and I because I thought you were my friend, you fucking jerk!" I shouted. "How dare you go and tell Grissom! Don't you see what you've done?!"

"Maybe if you could keep your hands to yourself rather than fucking your superior then you wouldn't be in this fucking mess at all!" Nick retaliated.

I lunged for him again and somehow managed to break free enough from Warrick's grip to plant my fist against Nick's jaw. I pulled my fist back again to take another shot at him but Warwick regained his grasp on me.

"Sara!"

My eyes shot over to the entrance of the lab to see Catherine stood in the doorway of the room.

"Let go of me." I shook against Warrick's grip and he let me go. I quickly headed over to Catherine. "Catherine, I-"

"Do they know about us?" she asked, tears in her eyes.

"It was Nick, he asked about us and I couldn't lie to him." I replied, reaching out to take her hands but she pulled back from me. I knew my words sounded stupid but it was the truth.

"Even though I asked you not to tell anyone?"

"Please let me explain." I pleaded, feeling a hot tear fall down my face.

"You don't need to explain." She shook her head. "You betrayed my trust, Sara."

I reached out to touch her arm but she pulled away again, before turning to head down the corridor.

"Catherine!" I shouted after her but she didn't turn back.

"Will someone arrest her?" Nick shouted from inside the room and within seconds I felt cold metal handcuffs clasp around my wrists and the presence of three security guards around me.


End file.
